The Next Big Thing in Communication!

Your ability to effectively communicate is paramount, hence the birth of bottom lining, the ability to express yourself succinctly.

While much has been written on bottom lining, little has been written about the ability to express what you have heard succinctly.

I call this ability, Headlining. Much like an editor that reads an article to determine its headline, you can listen to the speaker and express what you have heard in the form of a head line.

Headlining is not only efficient but fulfilling.   You not only listen for the information being conveyed but for the meaning of the communication.

The irony of this technique is that once you begin to master it and truly connect with others words are often no longer needed.

A HeadLining Exercise

1. Carry on a conversation. (Begin practicing this with those you know well, until you’ve got a hang on it.)

2. Listen to them with every fiber of your being.

3. Share with them in as few words as possible what you feel they have shared with you.

4. Listen again for feedback to determine how well you headlined.

Copyright 2008 Rob Gruber Life Coach

i wish i could tell you

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My Wish is My Command

“Imagination is more important than knowledge.” – Albert Einstein

“To imagine is everything, to know is nothing at all.” – Anatole France

What did these great thinkers discover about the power of imagination? I have a theory, a simple but profound one. I believe they were able to tap into the hidden and powerful nature of the word, imagine.

Did I say hidden?

Yes! Hidden within the word, imagine, right before your eyes, is an affirming and declarative sentence of your ability to create your world.

Breaking the code

Breaking down the word, first visually and then phonetically, you will find its message.

Visually: I – m – a – gi – ne

Phonetically: Im – ah – gee – nee

The Declaration: I am a Genie!

That’s right. “I am a genie!” I did say simple, but I also said profound. The profound part is found in the definition of the word, genie. A genie, according to the American Heritage Dictionary, is “a supernatural creature who does one’s bidding when summoned.”

My argument to you is that you have within you a supernatural being, call it a soul, an authentic self, your higher self or even pure genius that can be summoned to help you create the world you truly desire.

You are a genie! You create your world through your imagination. Your wish is your command.

Awaken the Genie within You!

1. Spend some time each day welcoming your newly found awareness. Say to yourself each day, “I am a Genie. My wish is my command.”

2. As you imagine, call on your Genie to aid you in making powerful and loving wishes.

3. Work with your Genie to determine what wishes are working for you and which aren’t, so that you can wish more wisely next time.

4. Never stop wishing.

A Query

What does your heart truly wish for?

Copyright 2008 Rob Gruber Life Coach

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Once Upon a Present Moment

Once upon a present moment, an old queen looked into her mirror and asked, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, whose the fairest of them all?”

The mirror answered back, “I am the fairest, reflecting only what I see.”

Enraged by the mirror’s answer she exclaimed, “That’s not what I meant. Who is the most beautiful?”

“Still it is I,” said the mirror, “reflecting only what I see. What could be more beautiful than that?

The queen, angered by the mirror’s answer, threw it on the ground, breaking it into a thousand pieces screaming, “Now what do you have to say for yourself?

The thousand broken pieces answered back in a thousand tiny voices, “I am still the fairest, reflecting only what I see.”

Refusing to listen to the mirror’s many voices, the queen ordered all the mirrors in her kingdom to be destroyed and buried far, far away.

———————————————————-

I realize that this may seem like a simple play on words, but it’s not. To see things as they truly are is a beautiful thing. And as easy as it seems, it’s not, and we humans rarely do it.

A Mirroring Exercise

1. Go to a busy place you feel comfortable, like a café, and write in your journal everything you see in the most descriptive way you know how. Describe what others are doing around you. What you think they do for a living? How do you feel about them? Describe the environment and setting in great detail. (Do this for about fifteen minutes.)

2. Now I want you to do the exact opposite and write in your journal what is going on in front of you in its purest and most generic sense. Avoid using adjectives and adverbs or anything descriptive. Use only rudimentary nouns and verbs. Simply record what is in front of you without any imagining, discerning, judging or evaluating. To simply describe someone as male or female is too descriptive for this exercise. i.e., person walking, man standing, couple holding hands, machine making noise, wind blowing, door moving, sign flashing. (Do this for about fifteen minutes.)

The second part of this exercise may seem odd or difficult at first, but with some practice, you may find it quite liberating or even peaceful to see things as they simply are.

“All of life is within a stone’s throw.” gruberism

Copyright 2008 Rob Gruber Life Coach

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Awaken Your Very Essence from the Outside In

On a recent trip to the theater, I had the pleasure to see a production called The Rat Pack. The show transported me back in time to a night at the Sands Hotel in Vegas with Frank Sinatra, Dean Martin and Sammy Davis Jr. at their very best.

Watching the confidence of Frank, the charm of Dean and the poise of Sammy filled my very being. In their presence I began to assume their essence. I was profoundly changed, not only during the show, but for many days after.

Over the next week, I noticed that my profound change was starting to wane, and I wanted it back, but how? And as sure as I asked the question, the answer arrived, in the form of a question? “What would Frank do? Or Dean? Or Sammy? And as I asked these questions, I began to experience once again the essence I attributed to each of them.

Frank, Dean and Sammy didn’t give me anything I didn’t already have, but awoke in me, an essence I attributed to each of them. And when I asked the question, “What would ______do in this situation?” I was able to re-awake the very essence I attributed to them.

As I ask the question, What would Frank do? I begin to smile, walk taller, and know that “I have the world on a string…What a world, what a life – I’m in love.”

An Awakening Essence Exercise for Determining Action

1. Choose someone or something in your life that you attribute a certain essence, quality or characteristic you wish to experience more of. This can be a hero, an actor, a religious figure or a natural wonder. It really doesn’t matter what it is as long as you attribute a quality or essence to it that you wish to possess.

2. Ask the question.
What would ____________ do (in this situation)?

3. Allow the answer to flow from your sense of the essence you have given that person or thing.

4. Experience the fullness of the answer and determine if it is the right course of action. If it is not, enlist another hero, person or thing into the process and ask again?

Copyright 2008 Rob Gruber Life Coach

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Listen and You Shall Hear

While waiting in line at a local coffee shop, I overheard the young woman in front of me order “a medium coffee with room for cream.” The barista, not listening, quickly handed her a medium coffee filled to the rim.

Seeing the full cup, she replied, “Excuse me, but I asked for room for cream. Could you…”

The barista, annoyed at her request, replied back. “Just pour what you don’t want in the garbage can behind you. Can I help the next person?”

Despirited, the young woman attempted to pour out the excess coffee only to spill a good deal of it on herself and the floor.

I ran over to her with a pile of napkins and asked if she was OK. Attempting to keep her composure, she simply nodded in appreciation as she confessed, “All I wanted was a little room for cream.”

I sincerely replied. “I know…I heard you.”

Realizing she had been heard, her whole demeanor changed as she replied gratefully, “Thank you. Its nice to be heard.”

————————————————————-

To speak and be heard, to listen and truly hear, those are truly precious, present moments.

A Present Moment Listening Exercise

Throughout your day today, allow yourself to realize that every conversation or exchange you have with another human being is a request to be heard and connect, and a wonderful gift and opportunity for you to connect and be present.

Or you can turn it into a mantra

Every conversation or exchange I have with another human being is a request to be heard and connect, and a wonderful gift and opportunity for me to connect and be present.

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber  Life Coach

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Seize the Present!

The expression Carpe Diem, “seize the day”, has always held wonderful connotations for me. I love the intention. Just saying it aloud makes my heart beat a bit faster. But more often than not, the idea of seizing a whole day leaves me a bit overwhelmed.

So, to remedy this situation, I did what most of us would do when presented with a task that appears too large. I broke it down.

My first inclination was to seize the moment, “Carpe Momentum.” Then I realized I wasn’t being specific enough, because I found myself on many occasions dwelling on a past moment or getting caught up in a future thought.

Then it dawned on me that what I really wanted to seize was the present, or Carpe Praesentium. The moment I set my intention to “Carpe Praesentium,” I immediately woke up, as if from a dream. Everything around me became clear. My feeling of overwhelm was replaced by a sense of peace and wholeness with everything around me. It is here, and only here, I wish to reside.

Carpe Praesentium!

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber  Life Coach

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Assistapants Unite! – We First Technology

At the end of a workshop I recently attended, one of the instructors expressed her sincerest thanks to the assistants that were occasionally asked to participate in some of the lessons, by whimsically saying, “I would also like to thank our lovely assistapants for all their wonderful assistance and participation. Thank you.”

While I realize this in not a word, I think it should be. So here’s a humble definition.

Assistapant – someone that assists another’s growth through active participation.

This is so much more that just showing up, instructing, leading or telling others what to think or do as students listen and try to imagine the implications. This is experiential learning, where teachers, assistants and students work as one to co-create an environment where everyone grows, students developing awareness and teachers and assistants developing mastery.

An Inquiry

What if you became an assistapant to those you love? What if you took a more active part in their growth and grew in the process? How would your world change? What could be possible?

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber  Life Coach

i wish i could tell you

Become a Modern Day Alchemist

An Alchemist, in ancient times, was a philosopher and metaphysical chemist that sought to transform common metals into gold or create the elusive elixir of life.

While I have yet to transmute any common metals into actual gold or brew the elixir of life, I do consider myself a modern day alchemist and am becoming quite competent in transforming my world.

Here’s a simplified version of The Principles of Modern Day Alchemy.

1. Every thing in the universe contains its opposite, e.g., light and dark or love and hate.

2. The essence of Everything is contained in every Thing, as the poet Blake described seeing “a world in a grain of sand.”

3. You have the ability to choose what you wish to focus on.

4. What you choose to focus on, in your mind, will expand.

5. Once your level of internal focus reaches a critical mass, you will begin to look for and see evidence of it in your outer world.

6. Knowing every thing contains the essence of everything, you will now be able to see that which you are looking for in that which you are looking at.

“The modern day alchemist does not change anything into gold, but rather, sees the gold which is contained in all things.” – gruberism

May you harness these principles to transform your life!

Sincerely,
Rob Gruber

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber Life Coach

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Live a more Balanced Life. Create a Two-do List.

You’re always busy doing everything you can to succeed. You make your lists and manage your time, but still, you feel out of balance.

Add a little balance back into you life with a Two-Do List!

The Goal of the Two-Do List

To create a system to get you to focus all the areas of your life.

The Process

Build a Foundation. (To be done monthly)

1. Write down in your journal where you are in each area of your life.
2. Now, write down in detail where you wish to be, how you would feel being where you wish to be and some of the ways you could get there.
3. Answer the big Why? Write down why it is important to you?
4. Do this exercise until you have addressed each important area of you life.

Make Your List

1. Choose between five and eight areas of your life, from your journaling, you wish to work the next day.
2. Create a list of action steps you could take to further your growth in each area.
3. Pick two action steps from each area.
4. On a clean sheet of paper list the areas you have chosen and the two action steps you have chosen for each area.

Follow the Rules

1. Take Action. Work off your list.
2. Once you have completed two tasks from a particular area of your life move on to the other areas you have chosen to work on that day.
3. Once you have completed one action step from each area on your list you can refill your entire list, complete the existing list or just go about your day, satisfied with your ability to have addressed every area of your list in one day.

The Skills You Will Strengthen

Self-Awareness
Balance
Time management
Visualization
Imagination
Creativity

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber Life Coach

i wish i could tell you

Create an Affirmational Commitment!

This is an excerpt from a children’s book I am writing.

“We all have a path, a path all our own.
And when it is time, it makes itself known.
If I had just told you, you would not have heard.
You would have just laughed, and then thought me absurd.”

I am sharing this with you as part of a process I have been working on with my coach to create what I call an Affirmational Commitment to complete a book I am writing.

An Affirmational Commitment is a statement that is set in the present that declares an intention to complete or experience a desired goal in an affirmative way.

The Process
1. State what you wish to experience in the future.
2. Declare that you will experience it.
3. Set a time by which you will experience it.
4. Bring your declaration into the present by shifting from “I will _______” to “I am _______ing”
5. Now, describe the nature of how you wish to experience the process using powerful adverbs. This is not a step-by-step “how to” approach but a description of the overall action or experience along the way.

My Affirmational Commitment

1. I wish to write and complete a book. (Imagining in detail what it feels like to complete a book)
2. I will complete the writing of my book.
3. I will complete the writing of my book by December 31st, 2007.
4. I am effortlessly and enthusiastically completing the writing of my book by December 31st, 2007.

Once the affirmational commitment is created, refer to it as often as possible. Let it become a part of you. Let it sink into you very being.

You will notice that I don’t get lost in the step-by-step details of how I am going to complete the writing of my book.

A Confession
I don’t know exactly how I am going to do this.

The Truth
I don’t need to know exactly how. The how will reveal itself along the way, that’s how “hows” work.

An Inquiry
What if a commitment is not met?

An Answer
There is learning and growth in everything. If I don’t meet my commitment, then there is something very valuable to experience, learn and grow from.

“Remember it’s the journey not the destination. Without destinations we will never begin our journeys. There is nothing wrong with changing course. Sometimes that is the wisest and most courageous thing to do.” – Gruberism

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber Co-Active Coach

i wish i could tell you

Wake Up and Smell the Coffee

I was having a wonderful conversation with a colleague over coffee about coffee, something we both dearly love and attempt to give up from time to time, when she shared with me something quite profound. With sincerity and joy, she looked me in the eye and said, “I’ve spent the last thirty years of my life playing around with my coffee, only to find I like it best black.”

I chuckled and replied. “Congratulations.” We raised our cups to each other, sipped our selective brews and then I respectfully inquired. “Why’d it take so long?”

She sincerely replied. “Social Conditioning. I was taught from a very early age to always want more and never be satisfied, that the status quo was “a status no.” On my quest for the perfect cup, I have ordered every drink on every menu and modified them whenever I could, priding myself on being high maintenance. When I couldn’t get them to modify it, I added sugar, cinnamon, or nutmeg. You name it. I did it. I was never satisfied, until last week, when a coworker of mine went on a coffee run for the office and mistakenly handed me the wrong cup. I took a sip of what I thought was my coffee and, to my surprise, found exactly what I was looking for all those years, a simple cup of hot, black coffee.”

“All that from a cup of coffee?” I asked.

“All that and more,” she proclaimed. “Realizing my quest for the perfect cup was just the tip of the iceberg. I took a personal inventory of all my predominant thoughts and discovered that many of my resistant thoughts were given to me by society. Wanting to live my own life and have my own unique thoughts, I now make a conscious effort to stay present, listen to my heart and see things for what they truly are instead of how others have led me to see them, recreating myself in each and every moment. I thought it would be hard, but once I got into it, I couldn’t stop. Now, I can’t imagine living any other way.

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber Co-Active Life and Wisdom Coach
i wish i could tell you

I Wish You Would Tell Everyone!

I’m often asked by my readers, “how can I help?”

I usually reply, “tell everyone!”

Here’s a few more ways you can show your support.

1.Click on the titles you really enjoy. This allows me to measure the effectiveness of each post, so that I can tailor the blog to your needs.

2.Comment on the post. I may not be able to respond to every comment but I do appreciate any and all feedback.

3.Share this blog and its post in a non-commercial way with those you love.

4.If you haven’t subscribed, subscribe by feed or email.

5.If commenting is too daunting, you can email me at rob@iwishicouldtellyou.com. I may not be able to respond but appreciate the feedback.

6.If you know of any non-commercial blogs out there that have similar intentions, feel free to direct me to them, so that I may add them to my blogroll.

7.Bookmark me. For those of you that use social bookmarks, please do so.

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber Co-Active Life and Wisdom Coach

iwishicouldtellyou.com i wish i could tell you

An Announcement, An Invitation and A Thank You

Dear Readers,

Thanks to my dear friend Leslie Holt, a gifted graphic design artist and inspirational soul, Yogi Times Magazine has invited me to contribute to their blog. Their mission: “to help build a burning desire in everyone to take action to create a healthier, more sustainable lifestyle.”

If you weren’t aware of Yogi Times Magazine and Yogi Times Blog, I invite you to check it out. Here’s a link to my first piece, entitled “Visual Yoga.”

I would like to thank you all for your support, but especially, Leslie Holt, Jessica Krewson, Art Director for Yogi Times, Doug Miller, contributing blogger and Sophie Parienti, Editor-in-Chief.

Sincerely,

Rob Gruber

Live a Life of Ease. Choose Your Path of Least Resistance.

When I first moved to New York City, I did what most artists do. I sublet an apartment. In the first three years, I moved a total of 6 times until I found the neighborhood I would eventually call home, Hell’s Kitchen.

The first couple of moves were effortless. I packed up my duffel bag and hopped on the subway. But by the sixth and final move, I had to borrow a buddy’s truck.

When I pulled up to my new place, I was filled with excitement. But by the second climb up the four flights of stairs with my arms full, I began to question if I really needed any of this stuff.

About halfway through the move, a kid that was sitting on the stoop watching me move, spoke up and said. “You know you don’t have to take the stairs, right?”

“How else am I going to get all that stuff up there?” I asked.

“There’s an old elevator way in the back.” He said. “It’s real scary, but it works. My mom won’t let me use it, but the old man on the third floor does when he buys groceries.”

“Really? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” I asked.

“I thought you knew, but then I thought maybe you didn’t,” he replied.

Embarrassed but grateful, I thanked the kid, patted him on the back and moved the rest of my stuff into my new place.

The kid was right, that was one scary elevator, and I never used it after that day.

I lived there for three wonderful years. When I did move, I packed up two duffel bags and gave the rest away, making my next move effortless once again.

______________________________________________

“You don’t have to take the stairs.” – Gruberism

I believe that many of us take “the stairs of life” when we don’t have to.

What do I mean by “the stairs of life?”

“The stairs of life” is the hard way. The belief that we must toil, suffer and sacrifice to acquire, accomplish and deserve what we want.

I am here to tell you that you don’t have to take the stairs of life. There is an easier way, a path of least resistance that is uniquely yours.

You will begin to realize this once you begin asking yourself this very simple question.
What would be the easiest way for me to accomplish this goal?

Here are a few additional suggestions that may help you along your path.

1. Stay present, focused and positive.
2. Recognize your ability to create a path of least resistance.
3. Consider any and all possibilities, asking “what if” questions.
4. Leverage your strengths, talents and skills.
4. Utilize every aid that becomes available to you.
5. Ask for help, from the universe and others.
6. Continually monitor and adjust your thoughts, emotions and actions toward ease.
7. Be open to adjust or change your path when it no longer serves you.

if you like this blog, you may also like Let Go to Grow.

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber Life Coach

iwishicouldtellyou.com i wish i could tell you

End Rejection Now!

“Life is a Selection Process, not a Rejection Process.” – Gruberism

When you woke up today, did you think to yourself, “I’m going to reject my way to what I want?” At the restaurant you last ate at, did you purposely reject everything on the menu before you chose what you wanted? Of course not, that’s not what you do.

You, by your very nature, are a selector of things, not a rejecter of things. From the day you were born to the day you die, you will actively select, not reject, those things you believe are best for you.

And while you are out in the world making your selections, the rest of the world is doing the same thing, selecting, not rejecting, things they think will bring them happiness.

With all this selecting going on, where is that stinging rejection? It’s not there, because it never took place. It couldn’t because we were all too busy selecting our next greatest thing.

Then what is that awful feeling we call rejection? It’s your ego, kicking and screaming, wanting to get its own way and feeling threatened when it doesn’t. Your ego wants to have its cake and eat it too by not only controlling your selections but the selections of others.

And while I’ll acknowledge that the ego is only doing what it thinks is best, it doesn’t serve you in this situation. Because the ego can’t control anything outside itself and when it attempts to do so and fails, you experience the pain we call rejection.

To stop the pain of rejection, we must recognize the following:

1.We are, by our very nature, a selector of things not a rejecter of things.
2.Nothing, including you, is ever actively rejected, but rather simply not selected.
3.We can’t control the selections of others.
4. Any need or attempt to control another can lead to great pain.

To stay in a state of natural selection:

1.Celebrate your ability to freely select what you believe is right for you.
2.Allow others to freely select what they believe is right for them.
3.When you feel the ego creeping in, take control of your situation and remind yourself that rejection is only a state of mind, a state you have control over.

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber Life Coach

iwishicouldtellyou.com i wish i could tell you

If enjoyed this blog you may also enjoy, Achieve Perfection by Redefining Perfect.

For a Lasting Change, Try The 90/90 Principle

If you want lasting change in your life, consider this.

Dr. Maxwell Maltz, author of Psycho Cybernetics , discovered that it takes approximately 21 days of conscious and consistent effort to create a new habit.
While the creation of a new and healthy habit is a good place to start, it may not be enough to keep the old bad habit at bay. According to Michael Lemonick in his July 5th, 2007 TIME cover story “How We Get Addicted” it takes approximately 90 days “for the brain to reset itself and shake off the immediate influence of a drug” habit.

So, if it takes 21 days for the brain to create a new habit but 90 days to lay an old habit to rest, wouldn’t lasting change be more likely if we were to perform our new habit in lieu of an old habit for at least ninety days?

Accepting this argument, I present to you The 90/90 Principle – 90 days of total immersion of a new habit over 90 days of complete abstinence of the old habit.

To master a new habit, you may consider the following.

1. Write down your new habit and refer to it often.
2. Imagine what it will feel like to have mastered this new habit.
3. Post positive reminders throughout your world.
4. Join a support group if one is available or create one of your own.

Do as much of this on a daily basis as you can for at least the next 90 days.

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber Life Coach

iwishicouldtellyou.com i wish i could tell you

The Secret and Powerful Gift within the Insult or Critique

Recently, an artistic colleague of mine did something quite remarkable and courageous. He had an idea, developed a plan, executed it faithfully and invited the critics. I call this remarkable because rarely do our ideas get past the idea stage, and courageous, because he invited the critics.

I salute him for that. Unfortunately the critics did not.

No, the critics were not kind. The pen was mightier than the sword that day. A sword would have been swifter and less messy.

While it is a shame the critics were so ruthless, there is a powerful lesson to be learned here. That lesson is that there is a gift within each and every insult or critique. That gift is the gift of attention upon you.

When someone critiques you or insults you, from your performance to your hair style, they have just made, in that moment, their entire world about you. You have become their focus. You have become the center of their universe.

To better understand this, I have created “The Time-line of an Insult or Critique.”

1. Somehow you got their attention. (Often unknowingly and unsolicited)
2. You then held their attention.
3. They then decide to formulate a response in their mind about you.
4. They think and rethink about you, refining their response.
5. They often share their thoughts about you with others, further refining their response.
6. They see you and determine whether to actually respond or not.
7. They respond to you.
8. They wait for your reaction.

Knowing what you know now, could you possibly react differently the next time you are insulted by someone that has just made you the center of their universe?

When I’m insulted or criticized in a nonconstructive way, I often smile and reply. “Thank you for noticing.” And do you know what? Most of the time I mean it.

If you liked this blog you may also like Peace of Mind is Closer than You Think and Visually Sculpt the Life You Want.

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber Life Coach

iwishicouldtellyou.com I wish I could tell you

What You Focus on Expands – PART 1

grand canyon rob gruber iwishicouldtellyou

Expansion Theory via Travel Log

5:30 a.m. My cell phone alarm goes off. Despite the early hour, I awake feeling well rested.  (I’ve just spent the last two days living on the south rim of the Grand Canyon with my better-half Kristy and now we’re off to Sedona.)

5:45 a.m. I begin packing up the car under the starry night sky as Kristy checks us out of the Bright Angel Lodge.

6:00 a.m. The sun, eight minutes from rising, slowly brightens the morning sky. I do one last check to see if I’ve dropped anything while packing in the dark.

6:08 a.m. – Sunrise. The first rays of light break over the East Rim. We get into our car, look over our TripTik and begin the second leg of our journey.

6:15 a.m. Following the signs out of the canyon, I slowly turn left onto a one way road. Just then, Kristy yells, “Stop!”

Thinking I took a wrong turn, I stop the car and ask her, “What? What is it?”

With her eyes open as wide as I’ve ever seen them, she says “Look.”

I turn and look but don’t see anything.

“Right there.” She says, “See? a baby deer,” pointing just over the right corner of the car.

I look again and suddenly it appears, like magic, a baby deer standing on the side of the road. It literally appears before my eyes, like one of those three-dimensional objects that are hidden in abstract posters sold at novelty shops. One minute I couldn’t see it and the next minute I could. Maybe because I was too used to looking at road signs, but once I did, it was as clear as day. In that very moment I became acutely aware of what deer look like along the side of the road amongst the tall grass and trees at sunrise.

Kristy, now looking for its mother, taps me and whispers. “Look, there. The mother!”

Now knowing what to look for, I immediately see the mother patiently waiting for her baby to cross the road. Not seeing us as a threat, the baby deer dashes across the road and into a small clearing.

As it stops in the clearing, something even more amazing happens. Kristy and I begin to see deer after deer appear before us. And I do mean appear, as if from out of nowhere. They slowly materialize in front of us.

Now, I do realize that deer just don’t appear and that they must have been there all along, but I also believe that if it wasn’t for our close encounter and intimate connection with this little baby dear, we wouldn’t have had developed the ability to see or focus on the rest of the herd grazing amongst the tall grass and trees.

How did we develop the ability to see the rest of the herd? Through Expansion Theory.

As we focused on this little baby dear, our ability to see similar images increased (or expanded) which allowed us to see the mother and then finally, the herd.

___________________________________________

What will you focus on today?

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber Life Coach

iwishicouldtellyou.com i wish i could tell you

Embrace the Power of the Unknown

Ready…Set (Theory)….Go – PART 1

Welcome to Self-Help Set Theory, the study of two or more sets in relation to each other.

Today, I will be introducing you to the simplest form of Set Theory, a subset within an infinite set.

you-in-the-universe.jpg

The Rectangle above represents the infinite universe.
The Circle within the rectangle represents You in the infinite universe.

From these two sets, I propose the following:

The infinite universe, the rectangle, contains all that is.

You, the circle, are part of the infinite universe and lie within the rectangle.

Accepting this, I will go a step further and say:

The Infinite Universe is made up of two things, “the known” and “the unknown.”

You, the circle, represents the all that you currently know or “the known.”

What can we say about the known?

The known is known, the tried-and-true, the comfort zone, the been-there-done-that of life, the same-old-same-old and land of the ego. In other words, it’s your past. Nothing new or exciting here.

What can we say about the unknown?

The unknown is in the here and now, where new things happen, dreams are realized, opportunities seized and skills mastered. the unknown.

Knowing what you know now, where would you like to focus your life?

“The unknown,” you say? Good answer!

And, how do you do that?

Allow yourself to experience as many new things as possible. Think outside your circle. Dream bigger dreams. Question your limiting beliefs. Learn as many new things as possible each day and consider new and innovative ways of doing the things. Observe others that have succeeded where you wish to succeed and incorporate their strategies. Ask for help from positive and nurturing souls, and in turn, share what you have learned with those that seek your knowledge. And above all else, stay as present as possible in each and every moment.

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber Life Coach

iwishicouldtellyou.com i wish i could tell you

Achieve Perfection by Redefining Perfect!

I spent a good portion of my life trying to achieve perfection in one form or another. But all of that changed one day when I found myself waiting for a friend in a quiet Irish Pub on a Sunday afternoon.

See, this was not your average run-of-the-mill Irish Pub, but a “Thank God I’m Irish-American Pub,” with pictures of presidents and historical documents lining the walls. And as I waited for my friend, I noticed a large copy of the United States Constitution hanging on the wall in front of me.

Seeing this as a sign that I was meant to reread the Constitution, I ordered a pint and began with the preamble, “We the people of the United States in order to form a more perfect union.” But then I stopped and asked myself, “More perfect? Is that even possible?”

Not realizing I was thinking aloud, an old Irishman sitting at the other end of the bar looked up from his Sunday paper and replied, “It all depends on how you define perfect.”

Seeing that I was not quite understanding him, he continued and said, ““The framers were visionaries, lad, forward thinkers. They didn’t see perfection as finite or unattainable but rather recognized the perfection of the moment at hand and the promise of future growth and possibility, leaving plenty of room for more perfect. Understand?”

I dutifully nodded and said, “Thank You.”

He nodded back with a slight grin on his face, took a sip of his whiskey and settled back into his morning paper as if we had never had this conversation. I, in turn, read the remainder of the Constitution over a second pint, paid my tab and thanked the old man once again for the civics lesson.

My friend never did show up, but I was now able to see the perfection in that.

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber Life Coach

iwishicouldtellyou.com i wish i could tell you

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Let Go to Grow

On one of the few days it rained in LA, I decided to take the Number 2 bus to meet a friend. By the time the bus came, I was completely soaked. The newspaper over my head and the palm tree above were no match for mother nature.

As I stepped into the damp and musty bus, I felt the tension of the standing-room only crowd. I paid my fare and found a place to stand next to a well-dressed, old man that was seated comfortably with his eyes closed as he held a cane in one hand and an umbrella in the other, making him the only dry passenger. At the next abrupt stop he opened his eyes, sat up and looked to the front of the bus.

“We’re at Genesee,” I said. He nodded and continued to look forward.

A moment or two later, the last passenger boarded, a beautiful but frail, elderly woman that was having a little trouble getting on the bus with her broken umbrella. Grumbling from the back of the bus could be heard as she struggled to quickly pay her fare and secure a safe place to stand as the bus driver abruptly closed the door and pulled away from the stop. And stand she did, at least for a bit, as the perfectly healthy passengers clung to their seats dedicated to the elderly and disabled as if they owned them. Unitil something amazing happened. That sleepy, old man sprung up best he could, cleared his throat and said, “Excuse me, my dear, this seat is open.”

Recognizing his caring soul and the fact that he needed a cane to stand, she replied, “That’s so sweet, but you don’t have to give up your seat to me.”

The elderly man replied, “My dear lady, it was not mine to begin with.

Taken by his chivalry, the elderly lady smiled, took the seat and said “Thank you.”

Nothing was said by them or anyone else on the bus until a few stops later, when the elderly gentlemen pulled the stop cord and proceeded to the front exit. All eyes were on him. The entire bus was silent. He turned slowly to look back at the elderly woman and nodded. She nodded back, blushed and looked down to find his umbrella at her side.

“Oh, you forgot your umbrella.” she said.

He smiled and said, “No, I didn’t…enjoy” as he proceeded out of the bus and into the rain, welcoming each and every drop.
______________________________________________________________

“It was not mine to begin with.” – the old man on the bus

What a wonderful statement that led me to the question. “What is really mine to begin with?”

Think about it. What is truly yours? What did you come into this world with? What will you leave with? What is not transient? What remains without change?

Consider Your Thoughts.
What thoughts are uniquely yours? Aren’t many of your thoughts given to you by others? Could you consider giving up thoughts that don’t serve you and sharing those that do?
Your Actions.
Are your habits your own or did you learn them from others? Could you let go of the bad habits and share the good ones?
Matter.
Could you begin to let go of your attachment to things? Could learn to share those things that serve you and let go of those things that don’t?
Energy.
Could you realize how much energy it takes to possess things? Could you better use that energy to live more fully in the present?
Life.
Could you begin to see the gift of life you are and share it with others?

Over time you may realize little is ever really yours, and that what matters is rarely matter.

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber iwishicoudltellyou.com i wish i could tell you

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Six Degrees of Manifestation or The Six P’s

Six Degrees of Manifestation refers to the fact that you are a mere six degrees or steps away from manifesting anything you want in your life.

The Six Degrees of Manifestation are:

1. Be Present. The first step is to become present once again. Once again? That’s right. When you were a baby you were nothing but present. Somewhere along the way you chose to live a good part of your life in the past and future. You become present again through awareness and the exercises found throughout iwishicouldtellyou.com.

2. Pay Attention – Now that you’re present, you need to pay attention to two wonderful things, you and the world around you. Sound’s simple? Think again. That’s a lot of stuff. Here’s the trick. Stay present, observe and listen to your gut. In a present state you are more likely to determine what is best for you and worthy of your attention.

3. Place Your Intention – Placing your intention is when things really get exciting. Placing intention on a thing increases your attention on it and your connection to it. When you place attention you are literally saying “I intend on experiencing ____________.” The more you focus on something the greater the gravitational pull you will have to it and it to you. Some folks call this attraction.

4. Perceive – Once you’ve placed your intention, stay present to all the signs that point you in the right direction. The world is full of signs to guide and inspire you along your path. Signs come in many shapes, sizes and mediums. You never know where the next one will be. Eventually you will see the sign, “Here it is!”

5. Permit – Now that you have followed your heart into the world of possibilities, you must allow yourself or rather give yourself permission to have what you payed attention to, place your intention on and perceived into your world. This is the most challenging part for most people. This is the moment of truth. This is where we find out if what we wanted is what we truly wanted. Well, you’ll never know until you allow it into your life. If it’s not what you want you can always start over and manifest something else. So permit/allow and embrace that which you intended.

6. Participate, Play and Pass it on – Last but not least, experience what you have manifested fully and share it with others.

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber Life Coach
iwishicouldtellyou.com i wish i could tell you

Traveling at the Speed of Sight!

Change your speed, change your life!

Let’s face it. Most of us have a tendency to travel throughout our days at the same relative speed. At this relative speed, we see the same things we’ve always seen and process them in the same way we’ve always processed them. But what if we changed our speed from time to time. What if we stopped, slowed down and/or sped up? Could we dramatically change our lives?

I think so.

How did I come to this conclusion? Well, simply put, I had food poisoning. Something I wouldn’t wish on anyone but something that helped me understand that the speed at which I moved through my life affected how I saw things. And as my perception changed, so did my world.

A perfect example of this came somewhere in the middle of my recovery, when I was finally able to get up and take a walk outside. As I stepped outside for the first time in days, I saw a hummingbird out of the corner of my eye by the fruit tree outside my house. Without any reservation I mustered enough strength to slowly walk over to the tree and watch him. Before I knew it I was within arms length of him. I stood there for some time watching him gracefully extract nectar out of each blossom. When he was done he pulled slightly back from the tree, turned toward me, looked right into my eyes, hovered for a timeless moment, and then casually flew off.

Now here are a few questions:

Would I have been able to see or experience anything like this traveling at my normal speed?
Could I alter my speed throughout my day and get better results?
Could I travel at a speed more conducive to what matters most to me?
Am I controlling the speed of my life or am I letting other’s dictate my speed?
What speed brings me the most peace?
Is there a speed of least resistance?
Could I meet you at your speed?

What is your speed?

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber Life Coach

iwishicouldtellyou.com i wish i could tell you

Test Strips 101 – A Present Moment Exercise

This is a snap shot into a process I call TEST STRIPS.

love over fear

Copyright 2007

TEST STRIPS are a quick way to evaluate where you are in the present moment in relation to where you aspire to be.

1.Choose a aspect of your life you wish to focus on and acknowledge its opposite.
2.Place the two opposing ideas across from each other on the strip like the one above.
3. Throughout the week, day or during a particular task ask yourself a question like this. From 10-1, how much ____________(The concept you wish to have) am I experiencing? From that number you will be able to determine where you are in relation to what you wish to create.
4. Decide/Focus on/Intend to move closer to your desired state or experience. (Note: Never focus on where you don’t what to be because what you focus on expands in your life.) Create intentions that state, “I wish to be more/experience more __________, and mantras that declare, “I am _________(that which you aspire to create more of)” and recite in throughout the day.
5. Ask yourself leading questions. What could I do in this moment to become more ___________? What new thoughts could I think to become more________? What thoughts/ideas could I let go of that may be holding me back from attaining more ________?
6. Think and act according to your intention and repeat this exercise regularly.

Here are few of the general concepts that my clients have created.

Love/Fear
Creating
/Consuming
Giving
/Taking
Acceptance
/Denial
Growth
/Contraction
Productive
/Unproductive
Allowing
/Resisting
Listening
/Talking
Optimistic
/Pessimistic
Wealth Consciousness
/Debt Consciousness
Abundance/Scarcity

What aspect of your life would you like to work on this week?

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber Life Coach

iwishicouldtellyou.com i wish i could tell you

Harness the Power of Questions!

I am often asked, “What do you think?” I often reply, “You’re asking the wrong person.”

Did you know you can begin to live the life you want by asking yourself questions?

Try this technique I call “A Book of Questions.”

A Book of Questions is a series of questions created by you to challenge your current thinking patterns and habitual actions in a particular segment of your life.

Here’s an example. Before initiating a personal everyday action I often run through “A Book of Questions” that goes something like this:

Do I really want this? Will it make my life better or worse? Will this bring me closer to I want in my life? Is this in-line with my vision, goals, values and beliefs? Is there anything else I could be doing in this moment that would bring me closer to what I want to be, do and have? In essense, is this the most loving thing I can imagine doing in this moment?

An amazing aspect of “A Book of Questions” is that once you create the list of questions and incorporate them into your everyday life, your questions are answered instantly, even before they’re asked? Your brain works that fast.

During an everyday action I ask questions like these:

Am I getting the results that I want? Could I shift my thoughts or actions a bit to get better results? If I’m not getting the results I desire, would I consider stopping and choosing another action?

At the completion of an action, I ask questions like these:

Did I grow from this? Was it worth the precious moments that it took up? Would I do it again?

Start with one aspect of your life and create a series of questions that challenge you to grow based on your relationship to you and that subject.

This technique works in every aspect and situation in your life.

Socrates once said, “An unexamined life is not worth living.” While I wouldn’t go that far, I would say that an examined life is much more fulfilling.

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber iwishicouldtellyou i wish i could tell you

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Sincerely,

Rob Gruber

Corn off the Cobb Anyone?

This is in reply to the FAQ, how would you describe your blogging style?

Has this ever happened to you? You picked up the next great book on personal growth, only to find that it took 300 pages and quite a bit of your time for the writer to explain a very simple concept. Well, this blog is the antithesis of that.

This blog is what I call “Corn off the Cobb.” I take ideas and concepts and attempt to explain them in thirty seconds or less. I take the farmer, the seed, the planting, the growing, the harvesting and even the cooking out of the equation and present to you one single, tender kernel of a concept at a time.

Each blog/kernel is intended to help you shift your current limiting paradigms so that you can live a fuller, more present life in thirty seconds or less.

I encourage you to apply each of the exercises in this blog to your life and share those that work for you with those that you love.

Sincerely,

Rob Gruber

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber iwishicouldtellyou i wish i could tell you

It’s a Wonder-full Life!

It’s official, there are 7 New Wonders of the world. It’s all over the news.

So I wondered…Why only seven and what was wrong with the old ones? Did they lose their wonder? Who got to decide and why wasn’t I asked?

In all this wondering, I came to the conclusion that there are an infinite number of wonders in my own little world that I witness and experience every day.

So I got out my journal and wrote at the top of a page “Seven Wonders of My World” and began writing about those things in my world that leave me with a sense of wonder and awe.

I did this every day for a week and then weekly after that. I will admit I did not follow my own direction. I didn’t stop at seven. I saw the number seven as more of a guideline.

Try this exercise to create a wonder-full life. I think it works best at the end of the day.

1.Get your journal out and write at the top of the page, “Seven Wonders of my World.”
2.Write down everything that fills you with a sense of wonder, awe, admiration, peace, joy or gratitude.
3. Do this everyday for a week and then once a week after that.

You may start off slow but once you get going you will begin to open up to the wonder of your world. Don’t take anything for granted.

To help you get started, here are a few of the things I recognized as wonders of my world.

My father’s courage to get two titanium knee replacements, his strength to undergo physical therapy and the technology behind the whole process, my mother’s ability to play 36 bingo cards and not have a nervous breakdown, my sister’s courage to work as a missionary, the simplicity and power of my Mac, the gift of waking up to a new day to live, laugh and love, my dear friend’s ability to survive her cancer, caramel coffee, the smoothness of this table and sturdiness of this chair, those who work toward peace, solar energy, the level sidewalk outside my home, organic foods, the mountains I live at the foot of, the cactus that will not die on me, my one pair of comfortable shoes, the world that keeps turning, the sun that keeps burning, the design of mass transit, electricity, rescue workers, the kindness of strangers, peace.

Now it’s your turn, what are the wonders of your world?

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber iwishicouldtellyou i wish i could tell you

Live a Catch-and-Release Life!

On a recent trip home to Ohio, I had the rare opportunity to go fishing with five of my nephews, ranging in age from 4 to 10, and my father, who shall remain ageless.

As we pulled up to the pond and parked the car, the boys got out and ran ahead with their gear. I stayed close to my father, reminding him to lift his feet, as we gingerly walked around the edge of the pond to “the spot” where the boys were already casting their reels.

By the time we sat down on the old wooden bench that held more stories than all of us combined, the first fish was caught. It was a beautiful little bluegill, and as gracefully as it was caught is was just as quickly and gently released back into the pond to swim another day.

There was no lull in the catching of fish that day. They made it look so easy. I asked the youngest what his secret was to catching so many fish. I had no idea he was so wise.

He leaned in and whispered to me like a father to a son and said, “First you have to find a good place to fish. Second, use good bait. We use hot dogs. Three, pay attention to your line, when it moves you’ve got a bite. Four, catch the fish and then let it go gently.”

“You mean you never take one home and eat it?” I asked.

He looked at me like I was an idiot and said, “No. This is a catch-and-release pond. We catch them and then release them so that we can fish again tomorrow and tomorrow and the tomorrow after that.”

Catch-and-Release, huh? Sounds like a great idea for fishing and life.

What if you lived a Catch-and-release life?

Catch-and-Release this.

1. “Find a good place” to be you – Everybody has a place in this world. You’ll find that place through trial and error, self-awareness and self-acceptance. Where you currently feel you are at your best, both physically and emotionally, is a good place to start.

2. Use the right bait! – The bait in life is thought/intention. Think powerful and positive thoughts and you will create powerful positive intentions.

3. “Pay Attention to your line” of thought – Stay present and don’t miss a bite/moment. If you’re not getting the bites/results you want, you need to change your thinking.

4. “Catch each present moment and then gently let it go.” – Catch everything that bites and adjust accordingly. Release the good as well as the bad. Don’t worry about releasing the good bites. The good bites will lead you to even better bites.

What do you think?

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber iwishicouldtellyou i wish i could tell you

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Emerge-and-See Your Unlimited Potential!

Awaken through crisis.

The call at 2 in the morning from a friend in need, the news of the death of a close relative, your child’s first fever, your stocks plummeting, the car accident you narrowly escape from, 9-11.

If “Emergencies” was a word on the old game show $25,000 Pyramid. The player describing the word “emergencies” might say, “things that would never wish to happen and require your immediate attention.”

Immediate Attention. That’s the key isn’t it? As if attention wasn’t enough, emergencies require immediacy in regards to time, urgency, and space, closeness.

This combination of attention and immediacy raises us to a greater awareness. We have more energy. Our senses become acute. We act rather than react. We are decisive and find little time for emotion. We are more present and than we’ve ever been.

What can we learn from these unwanted events?

Through emergencies we are given a glimpse of our fullest potential. – gruberism

Our Potential, or latent nature, is waiting for us to call it to attention at a moment’s notice. We are capable of the greatest imaginable things. It is only a matter of awareness of this potential that keeps us from being, becoming and creating those things we so desire.

Emerge-and-See!

Emerge-and-see, you have everything you need within you.

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber iwishicouldtellyou.com i wish i could tell you