Your life may be fuller than you’ll ever know!

Every summer as a child, my father would take the whole family to my Aunt’s house in the country for an all-day bar-b-que.  I remember those days like they were yesterday, not because of the wonderful times we had there, which we did, but rather because of the stomachaches I always got from eating way too much.

Despite my mother’s ever-watchful eye and her constant reminder not to over do it, I always found a way to sneak back to the buffet table for a yet another little taste of bar-b-que heaven.  As the day progressed and my sneaking continued, I did what I had done so many times before, I ate my way to a stomachache. An ache so painful, I could only ease it by lying face down, motionless on a picnic bench for the rest of the night.

It took me three years of family reunions to learn my lesson, but I learned it well and remained ever mindful of the need for moderation.

While I always wondered how I could be perfectly fine one minute and then all of the sudden painfully full the next.  I found out much later in life that it takes about twenty minutes for the stomach to signal the brain that it is full. More plainly put, it takes twenty minute for me to realize I was full, in which time I continued to stuff my face, resulting in one memorable stomachache.

Realizing the mind is a step behind the stomach I began to wonder.   If it takes twenty minutes to realize I my stomach is full how long does it take to realize that my life is full. Could it be that my life is full now and I have yet to realize it?

Not knowing how to measure this since my mind is a step behind.  I decided to look back at my life, not through memories, but through old photos I had of myself.  It was here I found the proof I was looking for.

In each and every picture, from the perspective of this present moment, I can honestly say my life was fuller than I was consciously aware of at the time.  I was, in a word, full and never fully knew it.

I realize this is a completely subjective test. But it has made me a firm believer that my life is and always will be much fuller than I am able to realize.

Copyright Rob Gruber 2009

Present Life Mastery Coach

Unbridled Permission

It was at this very spot!On a cool summer morning, at the impressionable age of six, I joined the swim team at the neighborhood pool. Decked out in my new warm-up suit, Speedo and goggles, I was ready to go.

When Coach Thomas blew his whistle and hollered, “Let’s go guys, let’s get in there and warm up.” I tore off my warm-up suit, put on my goggles and ran across the deck of the pool to dive in. But just as I was about to make my first big dive, I noticed out of the corner of my eye, my fellow teammates had barely even moved.

A bit confused and not wanting to look silly, I slowed down and nonchalantly walked back to my original position, waving my arms back and forth as to make it look like this was all part of my warm-up.

As I stood there swinging my arms with my goggles still on, waiting for what felt like an eternity for my fellow teammates to get moving, Coach Thomas, seeing my excitement, came up from behind, placed his enormous hands on my small shoulders and said with a gentle nudge, “Go get’em Tiger. Show them how it’s done.” Without skipping a beat, I ran across the deck, dove in to the frigid water and swam my heart out.

At the end of practice, while attempting to warm myself up from a mild case of hypothermia, Coach Thomas, walked over to me and said, “You did good kid. Real good.”Before I could say anything, he turned and walked away. But then, all of the sudden, he turned back around and said. “Oh Yeah, and kid? You don’t need my permission to get in that pool and swim. You got that?”

“Yes, Sir.” I answered through shivering teeth.

“Good.” he said, turning and walking away.

From that day on I was the first one in and the last one out of the pool each and every practice. In no time at all, I became and remained one of the best in the league in my age group.

Looking back over the years, I often wondered why I didn’t excel in everything I endeavored like I did swimming. And then it occurred to me a few years back, the missing ingredient was unbridled permission. Coach Thomas, perhaps unknowingly, gave me the incredible gift of unbridled permission by making it clear I didn’t need his to swim my heart out.

I’m not sure why it took me so long to realize his words applied to anything I wanted in my life. But I am glad I finally realized I don’t need anyone else’s permission to live my heart’s desires.

And while I don’t need anyone else’s permission, I do need my own. To remedy that, I crafted a bunch of permission slips I write to myself that say this. I, (I fill in my name), give myself permission to (whatever I wish to be, do, have, create or experience) with all my heart and soul. After I have written my permission slip out, I read it to myself often and carry it with me wherever I go. It has made all the difference in the world.

Copyright Rob Gruber 2009
Present Life Mastery Coach

Happily Ever ??????

If I were to ask you to finish these three phrases, what would you answer?

“Once upon a __________”

“In a land, _____,__________”

“And they lived happily ever __________”

If you answered time, far, far away, and after, you’re not alone, in fact, you’re part of a large group I like to call everybody.

Now how is that possible?

As children, we were all introduced to the wonderful world of Fairy Tales. Tales so wondrous in nature, they were told to us over and over again without ever getting old.

While each tale was uniquely different, we began to notice a pattern.  Most of the Tales began, “Once upon a time, in a land far, far away land.”  Then, usually something bad happened to someone good and something needed to be done to fix it. After, and only after, something was done could they then live then “Happily Ever After.”

Over time and through repetition of this pattern, we all began to form a similar paradigm or mental model of “The Classic Fairy Tale.”  The more we experienced this pattern the more powerful our paradigm became. So powerful, in fact, we all answered, “time,” “far, far away,” and “after” without any other reference to The Classic Fairy Tale.

It as if we all have a similar program running in our heads that says, whenever asked, “What comes after “Once upon a…?” We will answer “time,” without thinking.

On an unconscious level, through the mere act of living, observing our world and noticing patterns, we form paradigms that affect how we respond to events in the future.

If the simple structure of the Classic Fairy Tale can find a permanent place in our minds, affecting how we respond, imagine how many more paradigms we have running through our minds and influencing our everyday lives.

Copyright Rob Gruber @ 2009

Present Life Mastery Coach

Ease Your Suffering

If you’ve ever wondered why you suffer in a crisis, you don’t have to look too far for the answer. Breaking down the word Crisis, CR – IS – IS, you will find two “ISes.” That’s right. I said “ISes.

The “First IS” represents “your current reality.”

The “Second IS” represents “the reality you wish it were instead.”

Suffering occurs whenever you want “your current reality” to be different than what it is.

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The next time you find yourself in the middle of a crisis, consider asking yourself the following questions.

“Is this really a crisis?” This question challenges your old paradigms. Don’t underestimate the power of its simplicity.  You may be surprised how often you will answer no.

“Is this my crisis?” This question is a great way to determine whether you’re being influenced and/or assuming responsibility for someone else’s crisis.  If it’s not yours crisis, you can end your suffering and simply offer compassion or assistance.

“Could I want this in my life?” Taking a moment to consider wanting what you initially didn’t want could open your eyes to a whole new world of possibilities.

“Could I accept my current reality?” Accepting your current reality is by far the quickest way to end your suffering, allowing yourself to move more effectively through this moment and onto the next.

To paraphrase the Greek philosopher Socrates, while change can be difficult, the unexamined crisis is not worth suffering.

Copyright 2009

Rob Gruber – Present Life Mastery Coach

If I were Love…Imagine, Ask and Be

Searching for my keys as I was running late for a red-eye flight home to see my mother before her surgery, I did something I had never done before.  Instead of panicking and asking, “Where are my keys?” over and over again until I turned my home upside down,  I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and asked, “If I were my keys where would I be?”

As I opened my eyes, I was immediately drawn to a piece of luggage I had already checked twice before.  But this time, without hesitation, I reached into my bag and pulled out my keys as if I actually knew where they were the whole time, just in time to catch my flight.

Settling in for my flight, I couldn’t help but think about the powerful connection I had felt to my keys.  But as the flight progressed, I began to wonder what else I could possibly connect to.  In my wondering, I thought about everything I ever loved.  But to my surprise, the only thing that stuck out in my mind was not a “thing” at all, but rather love itself.

So, in the early morning hours, cruising at about 30,000 feet, surrounded by a sea of slumbering souls, I closed my eyes, imagined and asked, “If I were Love, where would I be?”

With my eyes still closed and my right hand on my chest, I felt my heart burst open and reply, “Here…Here I am…I am Here…I am Love!”

Being Love, I asked and answered.
“How shall I love?  Unconditionally.
When shall I love? Now. The only time that is.
Who would I love?  Myself, everyone and everything that is.
Why would I love? Because Love is all I am and Love is all there is.”

And as the plane made its descent, I opened my eyes to a brand new world.  A world filled with Love.  A world filled with You.

Copyright 2008 Rob Gruber Present Life Mastery Coach

iwishicouldtellyou

Accept … Love

The phone rang.  It was my sister, 3000 miles away, telling me that our mother was rushed to the hospital.  As she shared with me the news of her condition, I hung on her every word.   But as soon as I hung up, my emotions overtook me.  I wanted it to be different.  I wanted everything to be different, and the more I wanted it to be different, the more I suffered.

Realizing I was the maker of my own suffering, a suffering that was of no service to my mother or myself, I did the one thing I hoped I would never have to do. I accepted the fact that my mother was in need of critical care and I could do nothing to change that fact in this very moment.

As I slowly moved into acceptance, the most remarkable thing happened.  My emotions gently subsided and I became present once again.  In my newly found present state, I was not only able accept what was happening in the moment but was also able to consider what could be in the next.  I did this by asking myself a very simple but powerful question. “Accepting what is, what is the most loving thing I could do now?”

Before I could even finish asking the question, the answer came forth from deep within my heart.  “Go to her! Love her!  Be there for her!  Now!” And within minutes I was booked on the next available flight home.

Copyright 2008 Rob Gruber

Present Life Mastery Coach

Imagine Love

“If I were to imagine only one thing today, it would be love.”

Imagine Love Exercise

1. Find a quiet place where you can sit comfortably and not be disturbed. Close your eyes and relax.

2. Imagine you are standing in front of someone you love with all your heart.

3. Now imagine you have the ability to express your love by giving them a gift, something they have always wanted. *

4. Imagine what you would love to give them. *

5. Choose how you would love to give them that gift. *

6. Give your gift exactly the way you imagined giving it. *

7. When you feel your giving is complete, focus once again on your breathing, gently opening your eyes when you are ready.

*Take your time with this step. You’re only limited by your imagination. The more you do this exercise the more loving and fun it will become.

Imagine Self-Love Exercise

After you feel you have mastered the Imagine Love Exercise, modify the exercise by replacing “someone you love with all your heart” in step 2 with “yourself.” Follow the remaining steps with you as the giver and receiver of your loving gift.

In essence, you are imagining yourself loving yourself with all your heart while giving yourself something you have always wanted.

Copyright 2008 Rob Gruber Present Life Mastery Coach