Live by a More Golden Rule

While having tea with a friend on her garden patio, her playful and loving orange and black tabby cat, Tig, jumped up onto the table, gently placed a lifeless little field mouse in front of me and jumped back off.

Shocked, I gasped.

My friend’s reaction was quite the opposite. She simply smiled and commented, “Awe, look. He likes you.”

“Really? He sure has a funny way of showing it.” I replied motionless.

“It’s just his way of showing you how much he loves you.” She said.

With Tig long gone, that little field mouse suddenly opened his eyes, got back on his feet and ran straight off the table, landing not so gently on the ground and scurrying into the dense foliage of the garden, never to be seen again – at least not by me.

********

In a way, Tig was following the golden rule, “Do unto other as you would have done unto you.” And while I was grateful for his expression of love, I was, unfortunately, not able to fully appreciate his gift at the time.

All too often we are much like Tig, giving to others what we would want for ourselves. I call this the 14 Karat Rule, acting from our own limited preferences. While thoughtful and often appreciated, it occasionally falls short of its intended result.

A more golden rule, which I call the 18 Karat Rule, is this. “Do unto others as you would imagine they would want done unto them. In Tig’s case, with a little imagining, he may have chosen to simply climb up onto my lap, allow me to pet him and purr like there was no tomorrow.

While cats like Tig don’t have the capacity to imagine what others would want done unto them, we humans do. Possessing this capacity, we have an opportunity in each and every moment to live this rule in a more loving way.

If we were to all live by this 18 Karat Rule long enough, imagining and doing unto others what we imagine others would want done unto them, I believe we would all eventually come to the conclusion that we all want the same thing – love.

Realizing love is the answer to all our wants, an Even More Golden Rule, the 24 Karat Rule, might go like this. “Love others as you imagine they would want to be Loved.” Or simply, “Love others.”

Looking back at Tig’s gift, now, I can’t help but love him for loving me the only way he knew how.

Copyright 2008 Rob Gruber

Present Life Mastery Coach

Interested in being coached toward a Life of Self-Mastery?
Email me at rob@iwishicouldtellyou.com!

Advertisements

Run Barefoot on the Grass!

If I were to ask you to finish the statement, “The grass is always greener,” you would mostly likely answer “on the other side of the fence.” Am I right?

Now, how did I know that? Could it be that I, like you, have accepted this seemingly harmless idiom as true, made it a part of my belief system, and am now able to rattle it off whenever called to do so? Well, yeah. That’s exactly how I did it.

Unfortunately, this widely accepted idiom is wrong. The grass, a metaphor for life, is not, nor ever will be, greener on the other side. “The grass is always greener under your feet.”

The reason I say this is because the grass you are standing on is where you are now, and where you are now is where you are able to grow, love and experience life.

That grass on the other side can’t offer that. It is but a reflection of light we have been misled to believe is greater that us and that is simply not true. Making it, in my opinion, a lighter shade of green.

So run barefoot on the grass and know that it’s always greener under your feet.

______________________

A Present Moment Exercise – Questioning Beliefs

1. Monitor your thoughts and language throughout the week.
2. Catch yourself when you begin to express beliefs that require little thought or effort to express.
3. Take a moment to ask yourself the following questions:
Did I create this belief or was it given to me by society?
Is it true or false?
If it’s false, could I create a new, better and more loving belief to replace the old one?

I realize questioning your beliefs may feel a bit uncomfortable at first, but I assure “an unexamined idiom is not worth living.” gruberism

Seize the Present!

The expression Carpe Diem, “seize the day”, has always held wonderful connotations for me. I love the intention. Just saying it aloud makes my heart beat a bit faster. But more often than not, the idea of seizing a whole day leaves me a bit overwhelmed.

So, to remedy this situation, I did what most of us would do when presented with a task that appears too large. I broke it down.

My first inclination was to seize the moment, “Carpe Momentum.” Then I realized I wasn’t being specific enough, because I found myself on many occasions dwelling on a past moment or getting caught up in a future thought.

Then it dawned on me that what I really wanted to seize was the present, or Carpe Praesentium. The moment I set my intention to “Carpe Praesentium,” I immediately woke up, as if from a dream. Everything around me became clear. My feeling of overwhelm was replaced by a sense of peace and wholeness with everything around me. It is here, and only here, I wish to reside.

Carpe Praesentium!

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber  Life Coach

i wish i could tell you

subscribe for free

Embrace the Power of the Unknown

Ready…Set (Theory)….Go – PART 1

Welcome to Self-Help Set Theory, the study of two or more sets in relation to each other.

Today, I will be introducing you to the simplest form of Set Theory, a subset within an infinite set.

you-in-the-universe.jpg

The Rectangle above represents the infinite universe.
The Circle within the rectangle represents You in the infinite universe.

From these two sets, I propose the following:

The infinite universe, the rectangle, contains all that is.

You, the circle, are part of the infinite universe and lie within the rectangle.

Accepting this, I will go a step further and say:

The Infinite Universe is made up of two things, “the known” and “the unknown.”

You, the circle, represents the all that you currently know or “the known.”

What can we say about the known?

The known is known, the tried-and-true, the comfort zone, the been-there-done-that of life, the same-old-same-old and land of the ego. In other words, it’s your past. Nothing new or exciting here.

What can we say about the unknown?

The unknown is in the here and now, where new things happen, dreams are realized, opportunities seized and skills mastered. the unknown.

Knowing what you know now, where would you like to focus your life?

“The unknown,” you say? Good answer!

And, how do you do that?

Allow yourself to experience as many new things as possible. Think outside your circle. Dream bigger dreams. Question your limiting beliefs. Learn as many new things as possible each day and consider new and innovative ways of doing the things. Observe others that have succeeded where you wish to succeed and incorporate their strategies. Ask for help from positive and nurturing souls, and in turn, share what you have learned with those that seek your knowledge. And above all else, stay as present as possible in each and every moment.

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber Life Coach

iwishicouldtellyou.com i wish i could tell you

Achieve Perfection by Redefining Perfect!

I spent a good portion of my life trying to achieve perfection in one form or another. But all of that changed one day when I found myself waiting for a friend in a quiet Irish Pub on a Sunday afternoon.

See, this was not your average run-of-the-mill Irish Pub, but a “Thank God I’m Irish-American Pub,” with pictures of presidents and historical documents lining the walls. And as I waited for my friend, I noticed a large copy of the United States Constitution hanging on the wall in front of me.

Seeing this as a sign that I was meant to reread the Constitution, I ordered a pint and began with the preamble, “We the people of the United States in order to form a more perfect union.” But then I stopped and asked myself, “More perfect? Is that even possible?”

Not realizing I was thinking aloud, an old Irishman sitting at the other end of the bar looked up from his Sunday paper and replied, “It all depends on how you define perfect.”

Seeing that I was not quite understanding him, he continued and said, ““The framers were visionaries, lad, forward thinkers. They didn’t see perfection as finite or unattainable but rather recognized the perfection of the moment at hand and the promise of future growth and possibility, leaving plenty of room for more perfect. Understand?”

I dutifully nodded and said, “Thank You.”

He nodded back with a slight grin on his face, took a sip of his whiskey and settled back into his morning paper as if we had never had this conversation. I, in turn, read the remainder of the Constitution over a second pint, paid my tab and thanked the old man once again for the civics lesson.

My friend never did show up, but I was now able to see the perfection in that.

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber Life Coach

iwishicouldtellyou.com i wish i could tell you

If you liked this blog you may also like

Let Go to Grow

On one of the few days it rained in LA, I decided to take the Number 2 bus to meet a friend. By the time the bus came, I was completely soaked. The newspaper over my head and the palm tree above were no match for mother nature.

As I stepped into the damp and musty bus, I felt the tension of the standing-room only crowd. I paid my fare and found a place to stand next to a well-dressed, old man that was seated comfortably with his eyes closed as he held a cane in one hand and an umbrella in the other, making him the only dry passenger. At the next abrupt stop he opened his eyes, sat up and looked to the front of the bus.

“We’re at Genesee,” I said. He nodded and continued to look forward.

A moment or two later, the last passenger boarded, a beautiful but frail, elderly woman that was having a little trouble getting on the bus with her broken umbrella. Grumbling from the back of the bus could be heard as she struggled to quickly pay her fare and secure a safe place to stand as the bus driver abruptly closed the door and pulled away from the stop. And stand she did, at least for a bit, as the perfectly healthy passengers clung to their seats dedicated to the elderly and disabled as if they owned them. Unitil something amazing happened. That sleepy, old man sprung up best he could, cleared his throat and said, “Excuse me, my dear, this seat is open.”

Recognizing his caring soul and the fact that he needed a cane to stand, she replied, “That’s so sweet, but you don’t have to give up your seat to me.”

The elderly man replied, “My dear lady, it was not mine to begin with.

Taken by his chivalry, the elderly lady smiled, took the seat and said “Thank you.”

Nothing was said by them or anyone else on the bus until a few stops later, when the elderly gentlemen pulled the stop cord and proceeded to the front exit. All eyes were on him. The entire bus was silent. He turned slowly to look back at the elderly woman and nodded. She nodded back, blushed and looked down to find his umbrella at her side.

“Oh, you forgot your umbrella.” she said.

He smiled and said, “No, I didn’t…enjoy” as he proceeded out of the bus and into the rain, welcoming each and every drop.
______________________________________________________________

“It was not mine to begin with.” – the old man on the bus

What a wonderful statement that led me to the question. “What is really mine to begin with?”

Think about it. What is truly yours? What did you come into this world with? What will you leave with? What is not transient? What remains without change?

Consider Your Thoughts.
What thoughts are uniquely yours? Aren’t many of your thoughts given to you by others? Could you consider giving up thoughts that don’t serve you and sharing those that do?
Your Actions.
Are your habits your own or did you learn them from others? Could you let go of the bad habits and share the good ones?
Matter.
Could you begin to let go of your attachment to things? Could learn to share those things that serve you and let go of those things that don’t?
Energy.
Could you realize how much energy it takes to possess things? Could you better use that energy to live more fully in the present?
Life.
Could you begin to see the gift of life you are and share it with others?

Over time you may realize little is ever really yours, and that what matters is rarely matter.

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber iwishicoudltellyou.com i wish i could tell you

If you like this blog you may also like

Peace Of Mind Is Closer Than You Think.

Sometimes you have to stop! Not to smell the roses but to simply stop.

Recently, I finished a project that took a great deal of time to complete. But after finishing the project, I didn’t feel the normal peace that I usually felt from completing a task. Instead I felt anxious. It was in that moment that I realized I had become attached to the projects momentum. I felt like I had to maintain a heightened sense of productivity.

When I feel the momentum of my past influencing a present moment, I slow down my thoughts by doing a Nomentum Exercise.

A Nomemtum Exercise is any exercise that brings you back to the stillness of the present moment.

Nomemtum* Exercise I

1) Slow down by taking slow, deep relaxing breaths.
2) When you have found a comfortable rhythm of breathing, recite these three sentences.
(Take your time, do not rush and remember to breathe.)

There is a space between my thoughts.
In that space, there is stillness.
In that stillness, peace resides.

3) Continue until you feel a sense of peace come over you.

*Nomemtum – the absence of motion, absolute stillness.

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber iwishicouldtellyou.com i wish i could tell you