See the Fundamental Similarities in All of Us

While stopped at a traffic light at a busy intersection in the city of Los Angeles on a late Saturday night, a young bearded man wearing a blue flannel shirt walked between the stopped cars holding a sign that read, “Please help me.” Walking up to the right side of my car, I rolled down my window and handed him a few dollars. Thanking me, he turned to the truck to my right. As he turn and looked into the truck, he stopped in his tracks.

For what seemed to be a frozen moment in time, the two men locked eyes and recognized the uncanny resemblance they had to each other, down to the very same blue flannel shirt. The young bearded man in the truck, seeing this young man that could be his twin asking for help, rolled down his window, reached into his wallet and handed him a large wad of cash.

The young homeless man, taken aback by such a generous gift, tried to give the money back, but the young man in the truck insisted he keep it.  As the homeless man finally accepted the generous gift, the light turned green. They quickly shook hands and the young bearded man in the truck drove off into the endless sea of traffic.

The three of us were changed forever.

*******

If you came upon a stranger that looked exactly like you needing assistance, would you help? I imagine you would. I know I would. I would find it hard to turn down a reflection of myself.

But now imagine that a complete stranger that looks nothing like you asks for help.  What would you do? I know you already know your answer. But before you commit to that answer, imagine taking a second to see all the fundamentally similarities you share with this imagined stranger.

From this place of fundamental similarities, would you be more inclined to help?

Now imagine that you practiced this in your everyday life. How would your life be different if you began today to first recognize all your fundamental similarities with everyone you encountered you before you recognized your differences?

I can tell you that if you can master this, seeing the fundamental similarities first, you may never get around to seeing the differences.

With Love,
Rob Gruber

Present Life Mastery Coach
Copyright 2009 Rob Gruber

Three of my Favorite Words! “No Assembly Required”

One of my the fondest childhood lessons did not come from a book,teacher or class, but rather from my mother in the toy aisle at Kmart at the age of five.

Being one of five, Mom had little time for nonsense.   So on the rare occasion when we did make it to the store, which was almost always the local Kmart, the superstore of its time, we were expected to stick to her like glue.  Which, we did of course.

Knowing the floor plan of Kmart like the palm of her hand, she had the ability to get in and out of there more often than not without ever passing the toy aisle.  But on the rare occasion that she had a moment to spare, she would surprise us and let us roam the toy aisle for a minute or two.

In those brief moments of exploration, we did what kids do.  We went crazy.  Looking, exploring, playing, dreaming and if we felt Mom was in the mood, presenting her with a toy she could perhaps give “the nod” to take home.

Rarely did we get “the nod.”  But over the years and through trial and error, we did figure out how to increase our odds.  The toy generally had to consist of three things. First and foremost, it had to be reasonable priced (read into this on sale). Second, it had to be creative or promote growth.  And third, it had to contain the words “No Assembly Required.”

We picked up on the first two criteria pretty quickly. “On sale” and “good for you” were part of our family vocabulary.  But the third criteria, “No Assembly Required” took some time to figure out.

I discovered her third rule after giving her a toy for consideration. As I watched her go through the steps: On sale? Check. Good for me? Check, I caught her reading to herself, “No Assembly Required.”  She then turned the box back over, looked at the front again, looked me in the eye, smiled and gave me the Nod.

Excited, I hugged her and thanked her.

Beaming as I held my toy, waiting for my sisters to pick out something for consideration, I asked.  “What does “No Assembly Required” mean?”

Smiling she said, “It means you don’t have to put it together.  You can open it up and play with it right now.  It’s whole. It’s perfect just the way it is.  Just like you.”

“Just like me?” I thought to myself. “Mom just said I was perfect like a really cool toy. Oh my God, I could explode with joy!”

Not knowing how to respond to her affirmation of my worth or even knowing what an affirmation was at the time, I hugged her and thanked her again and then realized I had to tell my sisters what I just discovered.  Running through the toy aisles I whispered to each of them, “It has to say, “No Assembly Required” on it. It has to be whole and perfect just like us!”

And to this day, on the rare occasion that I do go shopping, I often find myself taking a second to walk through the toy aisle and turn over a box or two to read three of my favorite words, “No Assembly Required.”

Unbridled Permission

It was at this very spot!On a cool summer morning, at the impressionable age of six, I joined the swim team at the neighborhood pool. Decked out in my new warm-up suit, Speedo and goggles, I was ready to go.

When Coach Thomas blew his whistle and hollered, “Let’s go guys, let’s get in there and warm up.” I tore off my warm-up suit, put on my goggles and ran across the deck of the pool to dive in. But just as I was about to make my first big dive, I noticed out of the corner of my eye, my fellow teammates had barely even moved.

A bit confused and not wanting to look silly, I slowed down and nonchalantly walked back to my original position, waving my arms back and forth as to make it look like this was all part of my warm-up.

As I stood there swinging my arms with my goggles still on, waiting for what felt like an eternity for my fellow teammates to get moving, Coach Thomas, seeing my excitement, came up from behind, placed his enormous hands on my small shoulders and said with a gentle nudge, “Go get’em Tiger. Show them how it’s done.” Without skipping a beat, I ran across the deck, dove in to the frigid water and swam my heart out.

At the end of practice, while attempting to warm myself up from a mild case of hypothermia, Coach Thomas, walked over to me and said, “You did good kid. Real good.”Before I could say anything, he turned and walked away. But then, all of the sudden, he turned back around and said. “Oh Yeah, and kid? You don’t need my permission to get in that pool and swim. You got that?”

“Yes, Sir.” I answered through shivering teeth.

“Good.” he said, turning and walking away.

From that day on I was the first one in and the last one out of the pool each and every practice. In no time at all, I became and remained one of the best in the league in my age group.

Looking back over the years, I often wondered why I didn’t excel in everything I endeavored like I did swimming. And then it occurred to me a few years back, the missing ingredient was unbridled permission. Coach Thomas, perhaps unknowingly, gave me the incredible gift of unbridled permission by making it clear I didn’t need his to swim my heart out.

I’m not sure why it took me so long to realize his words applied to anything I wanted in my life. But I am glad I finally realized I don’t need anyone else’s permission to live my heart’s desires.

And while I don’t need anyone else’s permission, I do need my own. To remedy that, I crafted a bunch of permission slips I write to myself that say this. I, (I fill in my name), give myself permission to (whatever I wish to be, do, have, create or experience) with all my heart and soul. After I have written my permission slip out, I read it to myself often and carry it with me wherever I go. It has made all the difference in the world.

Copyright Rob Gruber 2009
Present Life Mastery Coach

If I were Love…Imagine, Ask and Be

Searching for my keys as I was running late for a red-eye flight home to see my mother before her surgery, I did something I had never done before.  Instead of panicking and asking, “Where are my keys?” over and over again until I turned my home upside down,  I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and asked, “If I were my keys where would I be?”

As I opened my eyes, I was immediately drawn to a piece of luggage I had already checked twice before.  But this time, without hesitation, I reached into my bag and pulled out my keys as if I actually knew where they were the whole time, just in time to catch my flight.

Settling in for my flight, I couldn’t help but think about the powerful connection I had felt to my keys.  But as the flight progressed, I began to wonder what else I could possibly connect to.  In my wondering, I thought about everything I ever loved.  But to my surprise, the only thing that stuck out in my mind was not a “thing” at all, but rather love itself.

So, in the early morning hours, cruising at about 30,000 feet, surrounded by a sea of slumbering souls, I closed my eyes, imagined and asked, “If I were Love, where would I be?”

With my eyes still closed and my right hand on my chest, I felt my heart burst open and reply, “Here…Here I am…I am Here…I am Love!”

Being Love, I asked and answered.
“How shall I love?  Unconditionally.
When shall I love? Now. The only time that is.
Who would I love?  Myself, everyone and everything that is.
Why would I love? Because Love is all I am and Love is all there is.”

And as the plane made its descent, I opened my eyes to a brand new world.  A world filled with Love.  A world filled with You.

Copyright 2008 Rob Gruber Present Life Mastery Coach

iwishicouldtellyou

Imagine Love

“If I were to imagine only one thing today, it would be love.”

Imagine Love Exercise

1. Find a quiet place where you can sit comfortably and not be disturbed. Close your eyes and relax.

2. Imagine you are standing in front of someone you love with all your heart.

3. Now imagine you have the ability to express your love by giving them a gift, something they have always wanted. *

4. Imagine what you would love to give them. *

5. Choose how you would love to give them that gift. *

6. Give your gift exactly the way you imagined giving it. *

7. When you feel your giving is complete, focus once again on your breathing, gently opening your eyes when you are ready.

*Take your time with this step. You’re only limited by your imagination. The more you do this exercise the more loving and fun it will become.

Imagine Self-Love Exercise

After you feel you have mastered the Imagine Love Exercise, modify the exercise by replacing “someone you love with all your heart” in step 2 with “yourself.” Follow the remaining steps with you as the giver and receiver of your loving gift.

In essence, you are imagining yourself loving yourself with all your heart while giving yourself something you have always wanted.

Copyright 2008 Rob Gruber Present Life Mastery Coach

Go for the Gold – “Love Yourself”

One of the most remarkable characteristics of gold is its ability to be forged into almost anything without breaking. Applying this same principle to The Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would want done unto you,” I created a few new rules from the same vein.

The first two, and my favorite, are The Golden Rules of Self-Honoring (or Self-Love), designed for those souls that always seem to put everyone else before themselves. They are the following.

Love yourself the way you wish to be loved.”

And

“Allow others to love you the way you wished to be loved.”

Don’t be fooled by the simplicity of these rules, they are powerful.

Some additional Self-Honoring Exercises you may enjoy include:

Breathe in Love

1. Find a comfortable place to relax, Imagining your breath is nothing but love.
2. Inhale, imagine being filled with light and love
3. Exhale, imagine that same light and love going out into the world.
4. Repeat for as long as you wish.

Recite your New Golden Rules as Affirmations

“I love My Self the way I wish to be loved.”

And,

“I allow others to love me the way I wished to be loved.”

Take Time for Self-Honoring Inquiries

“What’s the most loving thing I can do for myself right now?”

and/or,

“How could I be a little more loving to myself right now?”

Create a Self-Honoring To-do List

Write down at least two ways you will love (take care of) yourself today.

Copyright 2008 Rob Gruber Present Life Mastery Coach

iwishicouldtellyou

Decide and Live Your Dream

“The moment you decide to pursue your dream is the moment you begin to live it.” -gruberism

On a recent trip back to Ohio, while visiting my sister Pat and her family, Eli, the youngest of her three boys ran up to me and asked if I would go fish’n with him. Looking out the window and seeing the sun gently set, I replied, “Not tonight, it’s getting dark. How about we go fishing tomorrow?” Excited by my answer, he ran off to tell his brothers.

As the night progressed, I couldn’t help but notice that Eli seemed a little happier than usual. Curious, I playfully asked, “Hey buddy, what are so happy about?”

He replied with joy, “I’m fish’n.”

“Not tonight. It’s way too late. Tomorrow we’ll go down to the pond and fish.” I replied.

Looking up at me like I just didn’t get it, he lovingly explained, “Fish’n don’t start at the pond, Silly. Fish’n starts when you decide you’re gonna fish. And we decided.”

Humbled by his insight, I smiled and conceded, “You got me there kid.”

In my nephew’s wise little head, he began fish’n the moment it was decided. He continued fish’n, as he went to bed, as he woke up and as walked around the pond to his favorite spot. He was even fish’n as he reeled in a clump of algae. And if you were ask him what he was doing as he walked home from the pond that day, he would tell you he was still fish’n, because he knew that walking back home was just as much a part of fish’n as catching the big one.

An Inquiry

What are your dreams?
Have you decided to experience/pursue/live any of them yet?
If so, are you allowing yourself to enjoy each every step along the way?
If you haven’t yet, can you now begin to see how all those little steps are part of your dream?

Copyright 2008 Rob Gruber

Present Life Mastery Coach

i wish i could tell you