The Frequency of Love

While waiting for a friend in the arrival area of the Tom Bradley International Terminal at LAX, I noticed a young Korean woman pulling a large cart of luggage.  As she passed customs, she found an empty seat right across from me.

Just before she was about to sit, she pulled out from one of her bags the most adorable, fluffy, brown poodle that licked her profusely as she lovingly spoke to it in Korean.

As she sat down, she placed her little dog on the ground and opened a magazine.  Completely taken by this magnificent creature, I leaned over, reached out my hand and attempted to call it over to me.  Instead of rushing over, he just cocked his head and looked at me as if I were speaking another language.

Then it dawned on me that I was speaking English and he understood Korean.   Wanting to connect to this little bundle of joy, I dug deep into my memory for the few Korean words I learned years ago living in New York City and asked it to come, but still nothing.

Its owner, hearing me speak Korean, looked up from her magazine, smiled and politely complemented me on my Korean.  She explained that Louis was shy and didn’t usually respond well to strangers.

As we both continued to wait for our respective parties, it occurred to me that perhaps it wasn’t Korean that Louis was responded to.  Perhaps it was the love he felt coming from his owner.  And if that were true, I asked myself,  “Would Louis respond simply to my love?”

To test my hypothesis, I closed my eyes and focused on the most loving thing I could think of.  As I held that thought, I began to feel my love grow.  When I felt I could no longer contain my own love, I imagined sending all that love to Louis.

When I opened my eyes, I no longer felt the need for him to come to me.  I felt only love.   Ironically, it was at that very moment he walked right over to me. I reached down and he began licking my hand like we were the best of friends.

Witnessing this, the young woman exclaimed, “Wow!  How did you do that?”

I smiled and said, “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.”

“Please,” she said. “I’ve never seen him do this before.”

“I imagined something I love with all my heart and when my heart was full, I imagined sending all of that love to him.” I replied.

“I see.  That’s good.”   She replied, “That makes sense.  He’s a rescue dog and he responds best to love.”

“As I imagine we all do.” I replied.

Copyright 2009 Rob Gruber

Present Life Mastery Coach

See the Fundamental Similarities in All of Us

While stopped at a traffic light at a busy intersection in the city of Los Angeles on a late Saturday night, a young bearded man wearing a blue flannel shirt walked between the stopped cars holding a sign that read, “Please help me.” Walking up to the right side of my car, I rolled down my window and handed him a few dollars. Thanking me, he turned to the truck to my right. As he turn and looked into the truck, he stopped in his tracks.

For what seemed to be a frozen moment in time, the two men locked eyes and recognized the uncanny resemblance they had to each other, down to the very same blue flannel shirt. The young bearded man in the truck, seeing this young man that could be his twin asking for help, rolled down his window, reached into his wallet and handed him a large wad of cash.

The young homeless man, taken aback by such a generous gift, tried to give the money back, but the young man in the truck insisted he keep it.  As the homeless man finally accepted the generous gift, the light turned green. They quickly shook hands and the young bearded man in the truck drove off into the endless sea of traffic.

The three of us were changed forever.

*******

If you came upon a stranger that looked exactly like you needing assistance, would you help? I imagine you would. I know I would. I would find it hard to turn down a reflection of myself.

But now imagine that a complete stranger that looks nothing like you asks for help.  What would you do? I know you already know your answer. But before you commit to that answer, imagine taking a second to see all the fundamentally similarities you share with this imagined stranger.

From this place of fundamental similarities, would you be more inclined to help?

Now imagine that you practiced this in your everyday life. How would your life be different if you began today to first recognize all your fundamental similarities with everyone you encountered you before you recognized your differences?

I can tell you that if you can master this, seeing the fundamental similarities first, you may never get around to seeing the differences.

With Love,
Rob Gruber

Present Life Mastery Coach
Copyright 2009 Rob Gruber

Your life may be fuller than you’ll ever know!

Every summer as a child, my father would take the whole family to my Aunt’s house in the country for an all-day bar-b-que.  I remember those days like they were yesterday, not because of the wonderful times we had there, which we did, but rather because of the stomachaches I always got from eating way too much.

Despite my mother’s ever-watchful eye and her constant reminder not to over do it, I always found a way to sneak back to the buffet table for a yet another little taste of bar-b-que heaven.  As the day progressed and my sneaking continued, I did what I had done so many times before, I ate my way to a stomachache. An ache so painful, I could only ease it by lying face down, motionless on a picnic bench for the rest of the night.

It took me three years of family reunions to learn my lesson, but I learned it well and remained ever mindful of the need for moderation.

While I always wondered how I could be perfectly fine one minute and then all of the sudden painfully full the next.  I found out much later in life that it takes about twenty minutes for the stomach to signal the brain that it is full. More plainly put, it takes twenty minute for me to realize I was full, in which time I continued to stuff my face, resulting in one memorable stomachache.

Realizing the mind is a step behind the stomach I began to wonder.   If it takes twenty minutes to realize I my stomach is full how long does it take to realize that my life is full. Could it be that my life is full now and I have yet to realize it?

Not knowing how to measure this since my mind is a step behind.  I decided to look back at my life, not through memories, but through old photos I had of myself.  It was here I found the proof I was looking for.

In each and every picture, from the perspective of this present moment, I can honestly say my life was fuller than I was consciously aware of at the time.  I was, in a word, full and never fully knew it.

I realize this is a completely subjective test. But it has made me a firm believer that my life is and always will be much fuller than I am able to realize.

Copyright Rob Gruber 2009

Present Life Mastery Coach

Happily Ever ??????

If I were to ask you to finish these three phrases, what would you answer?

“Once upon a __________”

“In a land, _____,__________”

“And they lived happily ever __________”

If you answered time, far, far away, and after, you’re not alone, in fact, you’re part of a large group I like to call everybody.

Now how is that possible?

As children, we were all introduced to the wonderful world of Fairy Tales. Tales so wondrous in nature, they were told to us over and over again without ever getting old.

While each tale was uniquely different, we began to notice a pattern.  Most of the Tales began, “Once upon a time, in a land far, far away land.”  Then, usually something bad happened to someone good and something needed to be done to fix it. After, and only after, something was done could they then live then “Happily Ever After.”

Over time and through repetition of this pattern, we all began to form a similar paradigm or mental model of “The Classic Fairy Tale.”  The more we experienced this pattern the more powerful our paradigm became. So powerful, in fact, we all answered, “time,” “far, far away,” and “after” without any other reference to The Classic Fairy Tale.

It as if we all have a similar program running in our heads that says, whenever asked, “What comes after “Once upon a…?” We will answer “time,” without thinking.

On an unconscious level, through the mere act of living, observing our world and noticing patterns, we form paradigms that affect how we respond to events in the future.

If the simple structure of the Classic Fairy Tale can find a permanent place in our minds, affecting how we respond, imagine how many more paradigms we have running through our minds and influencing our everyday lives.

Copyright Rob Gruber @ 2009

Present Life Mastery Coach

If I were Love…Imagine, Ask and Be

Searching for my keys as I was running late for a red-eye flight home to see my mother before her surgery, I did something I had never done before.  Instead of panicking and asking, “Where are my keys?” over and over again until I turned my home upside down,  I closed my eyes, took a deep breath and asked, “If I were my keys where would I be?”

As I opened my eyes, I was immediately drawn to a piece of luggage I had already checked twice before.  But this time, without hesitation, I reached into my bag and pulled out my keys as if I actually knew where they were the whole time, just in time to catch my flight.

Settling in for my flight, I couldn’t help but think about the powerful connection I had felt to my keys.  But as the flight progressed, I began to wonder what else I could possibly connect to.  In my wondering, I thought about everything I ever loved.  But to my surprise, the only thing that stuck out in my mind was not a “thing” at all, but rather love itself.

So, in the early morning hours, cruising at about 30,000 feet, surrounded by a sea of slumbering souls, I closed my eyes, imagined and asked, “If I were Love, where would I be?”

With my eyes still closed and my right hand on my chest, I felt my heart burst open and reply, “Here…Here I am…I am Here…I am Love!”

Being Love, I asked and answered.
“How shall I love?  Unconditionally.
When shall I love? Now. The only time that is.
Who would I love?  Myself, everyone and everything that is.
Why would I love? Because Love is all I am and Love is all there is.”

And as the plane made its descent, I opened my eyes to a brand new world.  A world filled with Love.  A world filled with You.

Copyright 2008 Rob Gruber Present Life Mastery Coach

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Imagine Love

“If I were to imagine only one thing today, it would be love.”

Imagine Love Exercise

1. Find a quiet place where you can sit comfortably and not be disturbed. Close your eyes and relax.

2. Imagine you are standing in front of someone you love with all your heart.

3. Now imagine you have the ability to express your love by giving them a gift, something they have always wanted. *

4. Imagine what you would love to give them. *

5. Choose how you would love to give them that gift. *

6. Give your gift exactly the way you imagined giving it. *

7. When you feel your giving is complete, focus once again on your breathing, gently opening your eyes when you are ready.

*Take your time with this step. You’re only limited by your imagination. The more you do this exercise the more loving and fun it will become.

Imagine Self-Love Exercise

After you feel you have mastered the Imagine Love Exercise, modify the exercise by replacing “someone you love with all your heart” in step 2 with “yourself.” Follow the remaining steps with you as the giver and receiver of your loving gift.

In essence, you are imagining yourself loving yourself with all your heart while giving yourself something you have always wanted.

Copyright 2008 Rob Gruber Present Life Mastery Coach

Go for the Gold – “Love Yourself”

One of the most remarkable characteristics of gold is its ability to be forged into almost anything without breaking. Applying this same principle to The Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would want done unto you,” I created a few new rules from the same vein.

The first two, and my favorite, are The Golden Rules of Self-Honoring (or Self-Love), designed for those souls that always seem to put everyone else before themselves. They are the following.

“Love yourself the way you wish to be loved.”

And

“Allow others to love you the way you wished to be loved.”

Don’t be fooled by the simplicity of these rules, they are powerful.

Some additional Self-Honoring Exercises you may enjoy include:

Breathe in Love

1. Find a comfortable place to relax, Imagining your breath is nothing but love.
2. Inhale, imagine being filled with light and love
3. Exhale, imagine that same light and love going out into the world.
4. Repeat for as long as you wish.

Recite your New Golden Rules as Affirmations

“I love My Self the way I wish to be loved.”

And,

“I allow others to love me the way I wished to be loved.”

Take Time for Self-Honoring Inquiries

“What’s the most loving thing I can do for myself right now?”

and/or,

“How could I be a little more loving to myself right now?”

Create a Self-Honoring To-do List

Write down at least two ways you will love (take care of) yourself today.

Copyright 2008 Rob Gruber Present Life Mastery Coach

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Decide and Live Your Dream

“The moment you decide to pursue your dream is the moment you begin to live it.” -gruberism

On a recent trip back to Ohio, while visiting my sister Pat and her family, Eli, the youngest of her three boys ran up to me and asked if I would go fish’n with him. Looking out the window and seeing the sun gently set, I replied, “Not tonight, it’s getting dark. How about we go fishing tomorrow?” Excited by my answer, he ran off to tell his brothers.

As the night progressed, I couldn’t help but notice that Eli seemed a little happier than usual. Curious, I playfully asked, “Hey buddy, what are so happy about?”

He replied with joy, “I’m fish’n.”

“Not tonight. It’s way too late. Tomorrow we’ll go down to the pond and fish.” I replied.

Looking up at me like I just didn’t get it, he lovingly explained, “Fish’n don’t start at the pond, Silly. Fish’n starts when you decide you’re gonna fish. And we decided.”

Humbled by his insight, I smiled and conceded, “You got me there kid.”

In my nephew’s wise little head, he began fish’n the moment it was decided. He continued fish’n, as he went to bed, as he woke up and as walked around the pond to his favorite spot. He was even fish’n as he reeled in a clump of algae. And if you were ask him what he was doing as he walked home from the pond that day, he would tell you he was still fish’n, because he knew that walking back home was just as much a part of fish’n as catching the big one.

An Inquiry

What are your dreams?
Have you decided to experience/pursue/live any of them yet?
If so, are you allowing yourself to enjoy each every step along the way?
If you haven’t yet, can you now begin to see how all those little steps are part of your dream?

Copyright 2008 Rob Gruber

Present Life Mastery Coach

i wish i could tell you

Awaken Your Inspiration!

Within all of us lies something quite magical, loving and uniquely our own, we need merely to awaken it!

About five years ago, I picked up a magazine featuring a series of articles on some of the world’s most creative minds. Just as I was finishing the last article, it occurred to me. All of them had one thing in common. They all had their own very unique way of getting their inspirations out of their heads and into the world in a moment’s notice. One designer went so far as to resurface his workspace with a blackboard type material.

Inspired by his genius, I decided to cover the walls of my workspace with artfully hung, clusters of dry erase boards. I cannot begin to describe the sense of freedom and assurance I have felt since the moment I hung my first board. Over the years, I have filled my boards with anything from gibberish and doodles to bouts of inspiration that have profoundly changed the way I look at and love my life.

You too can Awaken Your Inspiration!

1. Open up your journal and write a love letter to your inspiration, inviting it to take a more active part along your path of growth.

2. Develop a way to take notes and record what your inspiration is telling you throughout your day. When I’m not in my workspace, I carry a pen and pad.

3. Schedule a time to meet with your inspiration each day. The morning works best for me. Find a quiet space, close your eyes, relax your breathing and imagine your inspiration coming forth in anyway it feels comfortable. Once you feel it is present, have a conversation with it. When you are finished speaking with it, thank it for coming and invite it to visit or stay with you throughout your day. (I’ve also had a great deal of success working with my inspiration, when I am doing things that require little thought, like washing the dishes or brushing my teeth.)

4. Listen to the many subtle and loving cues you are receiving from your alignment with your inspiration.

“Wisdon that remains in the mind as an idea, rather than being incorporated into the tapestry of who we are, cannot change us.”
– Joan Borysenko, Guilt is the Teacher, Love is the Answer

Copyright 2008
Rob Gruber Life Mastery Coach

Interested in being coached toward a life of Self-Mastery?
Email me at rob@iwishicouldtellyou.com!

Run Barefoot on the Grass!

If I were to ask you to finish the statement, “The grass is always greener,” you would mostly likely answer “on the other side of the fence.” Am I right?

Now, how did I know that? Could it be that I, like you, have accepted this seemingly harmless idiom as true, made it a part of my belief system, and am now able to rattle it off whenever called to do so? Well, yeah. That’s exactly how I did it.

Unfortunately, this widely accepted idiom is wrong. The grass, a metaphor for life, is not, nor ever will be, greener on the other side. “The grass is always greener under your feet.”

The reason I say this is because the grass you are standing on is where you are now, and where you are now is where you are able to grow, love and experience life.

That grass on the other side can’t offer that. It is but a reflection of light we have been misled to believe is greater that us and that is simply not true. Making it, in my opinion, a lighter shade of green.

So run barefoot on the grass and know that it’s always greener under your feet.

______________________

A Present Moment Exercise – Questioning Beliefs

1. Monitor your thoughts and language throughout the week.
2. Catch yourself when you begin to express beliefs that require little thought or effort to express.
3. Take a moment to ask yourself the following questions:
Did I create this belief or was it given to me by society?
Is it true or false?
If it’s false, could I create a new, better and more loving belief to replace the old one?

I realize questioning your beliefs may feel a bit uncomfortable at first, but I assure “an unexamined idiom is not worth living.” gruberism

You Were Whole All Along!

“You were whole all along
How could you be not?
You are nothing but love.
You just simply forgot.”*

At the moment you arrived into this world, you were whole. So much so, you had to expel fluid from your lungs just to take your first breath.

You were whole. Take a moment and let that sink in.

Here’s a Wholeness Exercise to help you recreate the experience.

1. Close your eyes and relax.
2. Imagine you are taking your very first breath.
3. As you inhale, say to yourself, “I am.”
4. As you the exhale, say to yourself “whole.”
5. Repeat for as long as you wish.

Having recreated your wholeness, let me ask you this. What has changed since your birth to make you think you are anything but whole? I would argue that nothing has changed accept your awareness of your wholeness.

When you came into this world from the safety and warmth of your mother, you were immediately subjected to an abundant source of new stimuli from the external world. Slowly, as your awareness shifted away from your wholeness to this new stimuli, you began to identify with your experiences of this stimuli rather than your wholeness. Over time, you simply forgot all about the wholeness you possessed.

In your forgetting, a myth was born. That myth was the belief that “something in my life is missing, but I just don’t know what it is. So I will search for it and never stop until I find it.” In your searching, you never thought to look in the most obvious spot, within you. Not looking within, you spend the rest of your life searching for something you have possessed all along.

You can end this myth and your endless searching by the doing the following.

1. Stop searching outside yourself. The moment you do, a shift of awareness will occur.
2. Accept the myth as a myth.
3. Practice the Wholeness Exercise.
3. Create a new truth to replace the old myth. I say new, because the idea may be new to you.

Your New Truth could be something like this.

“Nothing is missing in my life.
I am whole and complete.”

Or

“I need not a thing to make me feel whole,
I am nothing but love, mind, body and soul.”*

Or

“I have not a want, not a wish or a need.
I am nothing but love, in thought, world and deed.”*

These are my truths and I use them in meditation and whenever I feel I am going off course. You are free to use them or create a truth all your own.

Copyright 2008 Rob Gruber Present Life Mastery Coach

*excerpts from my book coming out at the end of the year.

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Claim your Presence in “The iwicty Registry”

Hello Folks,

Today I would like to announce a new collaborative page called The iwicty Registry.

It is here you will be able to claim your very presence in the here and now!

Simply click on the folder tab above marked “The iwicty Registry” and sign the registry.

Carpe Praesentium!

Sincerely,

Rob Gruber

Copyright 2008 Rob Gruber

Present Life Mastery Coach

i wish i could tell you

Create an Echo in Your Youniverse

Get more out of your affirmations with this powerful technique I call affurmations.

An affurmation is an affirmation that is redirected back to you by replacing the “I am” with a “You are.”

By directing your affirmations back to you, you activate another aspect of your being. In essence, you complete the cycle. It can feel as if you are hearing from an outside source.

To Create an Affurmation

1. Create an affirmation just the way you always have, using “I am” and stating what you wish to experience in a present tense as if you are already experiencing it is you wnat.
I am living a life of love!

2. Now, change the “I am” to “You are.”
You are living a life of love!

To Utilize Your New Affurmation

1. State your affurmation to yourself in the mirror.

2. Write down your “You are” affurmation on a piece of paper and place it wherever you will be able to see it.

3. For those who require a little privacy, encode your affurmations by writing down the first letter of each word on a small piece of paper and placing it wherever you feel the need. Post-its work great at the office.

5. If you have a supportive partner or friend, state your “I am” affirmation to them and allow them to confirm it with a “You are” affurmation.
You: I am beautiful!
Them: You are beautiful!
Do this until you believe you feel you have shifted closer toward the fulfillment of your intention.

Some Benefits

1. You will hear your affirmations in a whole other way.

2. You begin to see that which you are affirming in others.

Copyright 2008 Rob Gruber Present Life Mastery Coach

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The Next Big Thing in Communication!

Your ability to effectively communicate is paramount, hence the birth of bottom lining, the ability to express yourself succinctly.

While much has been written on bottom lining, little has been written about the ability to express what you have heard succinctly.

I call this ability, Headlining. Much like an editor that reads an article to determine its headline, you can listen to the speaker and express what you have heard in the form of a head line.

Headlining is not only efficient but fulfilling.   You not only listen for the information being conveyed but for the meaning of the communication.

The irony of this technique is that once you begin to master it and truly connect with others words are often no longer needed.

A HeadLining Exercise

1. Carry on a conversation. (Begin practicing this with those you know well, until you’ve got a hang on it.)

2. Listen to them with every fiber of your being.

3. Share with them in as few words as possible what you feel they have shared with you.

4. Listen again for feedback to determine how well you headlined.

Copyright 2008 Rob Gruber Life Coach

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My Wish is My Command

“Imagination is more important than knowledge.” – Albert Einstein

“To imagine is everything, to know is nothing at all.” – Anatole France

What did these great thinkers discover about the power of imagination? I have a theory, a simple but profound one. I believe they were able to tap into the hidden and powerful nature of the word, imagine.

Did I say hidden?

Yes! Hidden within the word, imagine, right before your eyes, is an affirming and declarative sentence of your ability to create your world.

Breaking the code

Breaking down the word, first visually and then phonetically, you will find its message.

Visually: I – m – a – gi – ne

Phonetically: Im – ah – gee – nee

The Declaration: I am a Genie!

That’s right. “I am a genie!” I did say simple, but I also said profound. The profound part is found in the definition of the word, genie. A genie, according to the American Heritage Dictionary, is “a supernatural creature who does one’s bidding when summoned.”

My argument to you is that you have within you a supernatural being, call it a soul, an authentic self, your higher self or even pure genius that can be summoned to help you create the world you truly desire.

You are a genie! You create your world through your imagination. Your wish is your command.

Awaken the Genie within You!

1. Spend some time each day welcoming your newly found awareness. Say to yourself each day, “I am a Genie. My wish is my command.”

2. As you imagine, call on your Genie to aid you in making powerful and loving wishes.

3. Work with your Genie to determine what wishes are working for you and which aren’t, so that you can wish more wisely next time.

4. Never stop wishing.

A Query

What does your heart truly wish for?

Copyright 2008 Rob Gruber Life Coach

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Once Upon a Present Moment

Once upon a present moment, an old queen looked into her mirror and asked, “Mirror, mirror on the wall, whose the fairest of them all?”

The mirror answered back, “I am the fairest, reflecting only what I see.”

Enraged by the mirror’s answer she exclaimed, “That’s not what I meant. Who is the most beautiful?”

“Still it is I,” said the mirror, “reflecting only what I see. What could be more beautiful than that?

The queen, angered by the mirror’s answer, threw it on the ground, breaking it into a thousand pieces screaming, “Now what do you have to say for yourself?

The thousand broken pieces answered back in a thousand tiny voices, “I am still the fairest, reflecting only what I see.”

Refusing to listen to the mirror’s many voices, the queen ordered all the mirrors in her kingdom to be destroyed and buried far, far away.

———————————————————-

I realize that this may seem like a simple play on words, but it’s not. To see things as they truly are is a beautiful thing. And as easy as it seems, it’s not, and we humans rarely do it.

A Mirroring Exercise

1. Go to a busy place you feel comfortable, like a café, and write in your journal everything you see in the most descriptive way you know how. Describe what others are doing around you. What you think they do for a living? How do you feel about them? Describe the environment and setting in great detail. (Do this for about fifteen minutes.)

2. Now I want you to do the exact opposite and write in your journal what is going on in front of you in its purest and most generic sense. Avoid using adjectives and adverbs or anything descriptive. Use only rudimentary nouns and verbs. Simply record what is in front of you without any imagining, discerning, judging or evaluating. To simply describe someone as male or female is too descriptive for this exercise. i.e., person walking, man standing, couple holding hands, machine making noise, wind blowing, door moving, sign flashing. (Do this for about fifteen minutes.)

The second part of this exercise may seem odd or difficult at first, but with some practice, you may find it quite liberating or even peaceful to see things as they simply are.

“All of life is within a stone’s throw.” gruberism

Copyright 2008 Rob Gruber Life Coach

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Listen and You Shall Hear

While waiting in line at a local coffee shop, I overheard the young woman in front of me order “a medium coffee with room for cream.” The barista, not listening, quickly handed her a medium coffee filled to the rim.

Seeing the full cup, she replied, “Excuse me, but I asked for room for cream. Could you…”

The barista, annoyed at her request, replied back. “Just pour what you don’t want in the garbage can behind you. Can I help the next person?”

Despirited, the young woman attempted to pour out the excess coffee only to spill a good deal of it on herself and the floor.

I ran over to her with a pile of napkins and asked if she was OK. Attempting to keep her composure, she simply nodded in appreciation as she confessed, “All I wanted was a little room for cream.”

I sincerely replied. “I know…I heard you.”

Realizing she had been heard, her whole demeanor changed as she replied gratefully, “Thank you. Its nice to be heard.”

————————————————————-

To speak and be heard, to listen and truly hear, those are truly precious, present moments.

A Present Moment Listening Exercise

Throughout your day today, allow yourself to realize that every conversation or exchange you have with another human being is a request to be heard and connect, and a wonderful gift and opportunity for you to connect and be present.

Or you can turn it into a mantra

Every conversation or exchange I have with another human being is a request to be heard and connect, and a wonderful gift and opportunity for me to connect and be present.

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber  Life Coach

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Assistapants Unite! – We First Technology

At the end of a workshop I recently attended, one of the instructors expressed her sincerest thanks to the assistants that were occasionally asked to participate in some of the lessons, by whimsically saying, “I would also like to thank our lovely assistapants for all their wonderful assistance and participation. Thank you.”

While I realize this in not a word, I think it should be. So here’s a humble definition.

Assistapant – someone that assists another’s growth through active participation.

This is so much more that just showing up, instructing, leading or telling others what to think or do as students listen and try to imagine the implications. This is experiential learning, where teachers, assistants and students work as one to co-create an environment where everyone grows, students developing awareness and teachers and assistants developing mastery.

An Inquiry

What if you became an assistapant to those you love? What if you took a more active part in their growth and grew in the process? How would your world change? What could be possible?

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber  Life Coach

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Become a Modern Day Alchemist

An Alchemist, in ancient times, was a philosopher and metaphysical chemist that sought to transform common metals into gold or create the elusive elixir of life.

While I have yet to transmute any common metals into actual gold or brew the elixir of life, I do consider myself a modern day alchemist and am becoming quite competent in transforming my world.

Here’s a simplified version of The Principles of Modern Day Alchemy.

1. Every thing in the universe contains its opposite, e.g., light and dark or love and hate.

2. The essence of Everything is contained in every Thing, as the poet Blake described seeing “a world in a grain of sand.”

3. You have the ability to choose what you wish to focus on.

4. What you choose to focus on, in your mind, will expand.

5. Once your level of internal focus reaches a critical mass, you will begin to look for and see evidence of it in your outer world.

6. Knowing every thing contains the essence of everything, you will now be able to see that which you are looking for in that which you are looking at.

“The modern day alchemist does not change anything into gold, but rather, sees the gold which is contained in all things.” – gruberism

May you harness these principles to transform your life!

Sincerely,
Rob Gruber

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber Life Coach

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Live a more Balanced Life. Create a Two-do List.

You’re always busy doing everything you can to succeed. You make your lists and manage your time, but still, you feel out of balance.

Add a little balance back into you life with a Two-Do List!

The Goal of the Two-Do List

To create a system to get you to focus all the areas of your life.

The Process

Build a Foundation. (To be done monthly)

1. Write down in your journal where you are in each area of your life.
2. Now, write down in detail where you wish to be, how you would feel being where you wish to be and some of the ways you could get there.
3. Answer the big Why? Write down why it is important to you?
4. Do this exercise until you have addressed each important area of you life.

Make Your List

1. Choose between five and eight areas of your life, from your journaling, you wish to work the next day.
2. Create a list of action steps you could take to further your growth in each area.
3. Pick two action steps from each area.
4. On a clean sheet of paper list the areas you have chosen and the two action steps you have chosen for each area.

Follow the Rules

1. Take Action. Work off your list.
2. Once you have completed two tasks from a particular area of your life move on to the other areas you have chosen to work on that day.
3. Once you have completed one action step from each area on your list you can refill your entire list, complete the existing list or just go about your day, satisfied with your ability to have addressed every area of your list in one day.

The Skills You Will Strengthen

Self-Awareness
Balance
Time management
Visualization
Imagination
Creativity

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber Life Coach

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Create an Affirmational Commitment!

This is an excerpt from a children’s book I am writing.

“We all have a path, a path all our own.
And when it is time, it makes itself known.
If I had just told you, you would not have heard.
You would have just laughed, and then thought me absurd.”

I am sharing this with you as part of a process I have been working on with my coach to create what I call an Affirmational Commitment to complete a book I am writing.

An Affirmational Commitment is a statement that is set in the present that declares an intention to complete or experience a desired goal in an affirmative way.

The Process
1. State what you wish to experience in the future.
2. Declare that you will experience it.
3. Set a time by which you will experience it.
4. Bring your declaration into the present by shifting from “I will _______” to “I am _______ing”
5. Now, describe the nature of how you wish to experience the process using powerful adverbs. This is not a step-by-step “how to” approach but a description of the overall action or experience along the way.

My Affirmational Commitment

1. I wish to write and complete a book. (Imagining in detail what it feels like to complete a book)
2. I will complete the writing of my book.
3. I will complete the writing of my book by December 31st, 2007.
4. I am effortlessly and enthusiastically completing the writing of my book by December 31st, 2007.

Once the affirmational commitment is created, refer to it as often as possible. Let it become a part of you. Let it sink into you very being.

You will notice that I don’t get lost in the step-by-step details of how I am going to complete the writing of my book.

A Confession
I don’t know exactly how I am going to do this.

The Truth
I don’t need to know exactly how. The how will reveal itself along the way, that’s how “hows” work.

An Inquiry
What if a commitment is not met?

An Answer
There is learning and growth in everything. If I don’t meet my commitment, then there is something very valuable to experience, learn and grow from.

“Remember it’s the journey not the destination. Without destinations we will never begin our journeys. There is nothing wrong with changing course. Sometimes that is the wisest and most courageous thing to do.” – Gruberism

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber Co-Active Coach

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Live a Life of Ease. Choose Your Path of Least Resistance.

When I first moved to New York City, I did what most artists do. I sublet an apartment. In the first three years, I moved a total of 6 times until I found the neighborhood I would eventually call home, Hell’s Kitchen.

The first couple of moves were effortless. I packed up my duffel bag and hopped on the subway. But by the sixth and final move, I had to borrow a buddy’s truck.

When I pulled up to my new place, I was filled with excitement. But by the second climb up the four flights of stairs with my arms full, I began to question if I really needed any of this stuff.

About halfway through the move, a kid that was sitting on the stoop watching me move, spoke up and said. “You know you don’t have to take the stairs, right?”

“How else am I going to get all that stuff up there?” I asked.

“There’s an old elevator way in the back.” He said. “It’s real scary, but it works. My mom won’t let me use it, but the old man on the third floor does when he buys groceries.”

“Really? Why didn’t you tell me sooner?” I asked.

“I thought you knew, but then I thought maybe you didn’t,” he replied.

Embarrassed but grateful, I thanked the kid, patted him on the back and moved the rest of my stuff into my new place.

The kid was right, that was one scary elevator, and I never used it after that day.

I lived there for three wonderful years. When I did move, I packed up two duffel bags and gave the rest away, making my next move effortless once again.

______________________________________________

“You don’t have to take the stairs.” – Gruberism

I believe that many of us take “the stairs of life” when we don’t have to.

What do I mean by “the stairs of life?”

“The stairs of life” is the hard way. The belief that we must toil, suffer and sacrifice to acquire, accomplish and deserve what we want.

I am here to tell you that you don’t have to take the stairs of life. There is an easier way, a path of least resistance that is uniquely yours.

You will begin to realize this once you begin asking yourself this very simple question.
What would be the easiest way for me to accomplish this goal?

Here are a few additional suggestions that may help you along your path.

1. Stay present, focused and positive.
2. Recognize your ability to create a path of least resistance.
3. Consider any and all possibilities, asking “what if” questions.
4. Leverage your strengths, talents and skills.
4. Utilize every aid that becomes available to you.
5. Ask for help, from the universe and others.
6. Continually monitor and adjust your thoughts, emotions and actions toward ease.
7. Be open to adjust or change your path when it no longer serves you.

if you like this blog, you may also like Let Go to Grow.

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber Life Coach

iwishicouldtellyou.com i wish i could tell you

For a Lasting Change, Try The 90/90 Principle

If you want lasting change in your life, consider this.

Dr. Maxwell Maltz, author of Psycho Cybernetics , discovered that it takes approximately 21 days of conscious and consistent effort to create a new habit.
While the creation of a new and healthy habit is a good place to start, it may not be enough to keep the old bad habit at bay. According to Michael Lemonick in his July 5th, 2007 TIME cover story “How We Get Addicted” it takes approximately 90 days “for the brain to reset itself and shake off the immediate influence of a drug” habit.

So, if it takes 21 days for the brain to create a new habit but 90 days to lay an old habit to rest, wouldn’t lasting change be more likely if we were to perform our new habit in lieu of an old habit for at least ninety days?

Accepting this argument, I present to you The 90/90 Principle – 90 days of total immersion of a new habit over 90 days of complete abstinence of the old habit.

To master a new habit, you may consider the following.

1. Write down your new habit and refer to it often.
2. Imagine what it will feel like to have mastered this new habit.
3. Post positive reminders throughout your world.
4. Join a support group if one is available or create one of your own.

Do as much of this on a daily basis as you can for at least the next 90 days.

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber Life Coach

iwishicouldtellyou.com i wish i could tell you

The Secret and Powerful Gift within the Insult or Critique

Recently, an artistic colleague of mine did something quite remarkable and courageous. He had an idea, developed a plan, executed it faithfully and invited the critics. I call this remarkable because rarely do our ideas get past the idea stage, and courageous, because he invited the critics.

I salute him for that. Unfortunately the critics did not.

No, the critics were not kind. The pen was mightier than the sword that day. A sword would have been swifter and less messy.

While it is a shame the critics were so ruthless, there is a powerful lesson to be learned here. That lesson is that there is a gift within each and every insult or critique. That gift is the gift of attention upon you.

When someone critiques you or insults you, from your performance to your hair style, they have just made, in that moment, their entire world about you. You have become their focus. You have become the center of their universe.

To better understand this, I have created “The Time-line of an Insult or Critique.”

1. Somehow you got their attention. (Often unknowingly and unsolicited)
2. You then held their attention.
3. They then decide to formulate a response in their mind about you.
4. They think and rethink about you, refining their response.
5. They often share their thoughts about you with others, further refining their response.
6. They see you and determine whether to actually respond or not.
7. They respond to you.
8. They wait for your reaction.

Knowing what you know now, could you possibly react differently the next time you are insulted by someone that has just made you the center of their universe?

When I’m insulted or criticized in a nonconstructive way, I often smile and reply. “Thank you for noticing.” And do you know what? Most of the time I mean it.

If you liked this blog you may also like Peace of Mind is Closer than You Think and Visually Sculpt the Life You Want.

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber Life Coach

iwishicouldtellyou.com I wish I could tell you

Six Degrees of Manifestation or The Six P’s

Six Degrees of Manifestation refers to the fact that you are a mere six degrees or steps away from manifesting anything you want in your life.

The Six Degrees of Manifestation are:

1. Be Present. The first step is to become present once again. Once again? That’s right. When you were a baby you were nothing but present. Somewhere along the way you chose to live a good part of your life in the past and future. You become present again through awareness and the exercises found throughout iwishicouldtellyou.com.

2. Pay Attention – Now that you’re present, you need to pay attention to two wonderful things, you and the world around you. Sound’s simple? Think again. That’s a lot of stuff. Here’s the trick. Stay present, observe and listen to your gut. In a present state you are more likely to determine what is best for you and worthy of your attention.

3. Place Your Intention – Placing your intention is when things really get exciting. Placing intention on a thing increases your attention on it and your connection to it. When you place attention you are literally saying “I intend on experiencing ____________.” The more you focus on something the greater the gravitational pull you will have to it and it to you. Some folks call this attraction.

4. Perceive – Once you’ve placed your intention, stay present to all the signs that point you in the right direction. The world is full of signs to guide and inspire you along your path. Signs come in many shapes, sizes and mediums. You never know where the next one will be. Eventually you will see the sign, “Here it is!”

5. Permit – Now that you have followed your heart into the world of possibilities, you must allow yourself or rather give yourself permission to have what you payed attention to, place your intention on and perceived into your world. This is the most challenging part for most people. This is the moment of truth. This is where we find out if what we wanted is what we truly wanted. Well, you’ll never know until you allow it into your life. If it’s not what you want you can always start over and manifest something else. So permit/allow and embrace that which you intended.

6. Participate, Play and Pass it on – Last but not least, experience what you have manifested fully and share it with others.

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber Life Coach
iwishicouldtellyou.com i wish i could tell you

Traveling at the Speed of Sight!

Change your speed, change your life!

Let’s face it. Most of us have a tendency to travel throughout our days at the same relative speed. At this relative speed, we see the same things we’ve always seen and process them in the same way we’ve always processed them. But what if we changed our speed from time to time. What if we stopped, slowed down and/or sped up? Could we dramatically change our lives?

I think so.

How did I come to this conclusion? Well, simply put, I had food poisoning. Something I wouldn’t wish on anyone but something that helped me understand that the speed at which I moved through my life affected how I saw things. And as my perception changed, so did my world.

A perfect example of this came somewhere in the middle of my recovery, when I was finally able to get up and take a walk outside. As I stepped outside for the first time in days, I saw a hummingbird out of the corner of my eye by the fruit tree outside my house. Without any reservation I mustered enough strength to slowly walk over to the tree and watch him. Before I knew it I was within arms length of him. I stood there for some time watching him gracefully extract nectar out of each blossom. When he was done he pulled slightly back from the tree, turned toward me, looked right into my eyes, hovered for a timeless moment, and then casually flew off.

Now here are a few questions:

Would I have been able to see or experience anything like this traveling at my normal speed?
Could I alter my speed throughout my day and get better results?
Could I travel at a speed more conducive to what matters most to me?
Am I controlling the speed of my life or am I letting other’s dictate my speed?
What speed brings me the most peace?
Is there a speed of least resistance?
Could I meet you at your speed?

What is your speed?

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber Life Coach

iwishicouldtellyou.com i wish i could tell you

Test Strips 101 – A Present Moment Exercise

This is a snap shot into a process I call TEST STRIPS.

Copyright 2007

TEST STRIPS are a quick way to evaluate where you are in the present moment in relation to where you aspire to be.

1.Choose a aspect of your life you wish to focus on and acknowledge its opposite.
2.Place the two opposing ideas across from each other on the strip like the one above.
3. Throughout the week, day or during a particular task ask yourself a question like this. From 10-1, how much ____________(The concept you wish to have) am I experiencing? From that number you will be able to determine where you are in relation to what you wish to create.
4. Decide/Focus on/Intend to move closer to your desired state or experience. (Note: Never focus on where you don’t what to be because what you focus on expands in your life.) Create intentions that state, “I wish to be more/experience more __________, and mantras that declare, “I am _________(that which you aspire to create more of)” and recite in throughout the day.
5. Ask yourself leading questions. What could I do in this moment to become more ___________? What new thoughts could I think to become more________? What thoughts/ideas could I let go of that may be holding me back from attaining more ________?
6. Think and act according to your intention and repeat this exercise regularly.

Here are few of the general concepts that my clients have created.

Love/Fear
Creating/Consuming
Giving/Taking
Acceptance/Denial
Growth/Contraction
Productive/Unproductive
Allowing/Resisting
Listening/Talking
Optimistic/Pessimistic
Wealth Consciousness/Debt Consciousness
Abundance/Scarcity

What aspect of your life would you like to work on this week?

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber Life Coach

iwishicouldtellyou.com i wish i could tell you

Celebrate Your Life in Every Moment!

“It was my birthday last week and I haven’t stopped celebrating.” – gruberism

I remember the first time someone asked me the question “How many birthdays does the average man have?” Not knowing it was a riddle, I thought long and hard and guessed 76. I was wrong, of course, because the average man has only one birthday. He may celebrate his birthday 76 times in his life but he is only born once.

Then I thought to myself, a man that lives 76 years celebrates the miracle of his life only 76 times in his 76 years or 27,758 days. I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t seem like enough celebrating to me. To make things worse, we don’t remember the first few and are taught by society to not look forward to celebrating our birthday in the later half of our lives.

If you ask me, 1 out 365.25 is not near enough!

Wake up and taste the icing! It is estimated that someone dies every ten seconds in this world. Are you next? Am I? Now I’m not a fortuneteller, so I can’t tell you when my time is up. I can’t tell you if I have ten seconds or tens of years left. What I can tell you is that my time is precious and each moment I am given is a gift worth celebrating and I choose to celebrate the miracle of my life by staying as present as possible in each and every moment I am given.

Celebrate your life in each and every moment! And while you’re at it, celebrate everyone else’s life you come in contact with, because you’ll never know when their last moment will be.

I celebrate life by striving to stay as present as possible, love unconditionally, listen intently and give sincere thanks for everything.

How can you celebrate your life in this moment?

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber iwishicouldtellyou.com i wish i could tell you

Visually Sculpt the Life You Want

I was recently working with a sculptor that wanted to drastically change how he created his art. No matter how hard he tried, he kept going back to his old way of doing things. During one of our conversations, he mentioned his concern that others would not be able to recognize his new works as his.

I remarked, “I think you might be afraid you won’t able to recognize them as yours.”

He smiled, laughed and said, “Maybe…maybe.”

From that day on, I had him imagine in great detail his art space filled with all the new pieces he had yet to sculpt, the colors, the sizes, the lighting, the lines of the pieces and the people that would come to purchase his work.

A week later he called to say, “I guess I just needed to “see” it with my own eyes in its entirety”

Visualization is a wonderful tool that can…

Open many doors and windows of creativity.
Nurture your budding desires.
Help you develop a knowing it can be done.
“Reinstill” your ability to create your life.

There are numerous books on visualization and numerous ways to visualize.

Here’s one way to visualize:

1) Determine what you wish to be, do, have or create.

2) Find a quiet place to sit or recline, close your eyes and find a comfortable breathing pattern.
3) Imagine each breath out is releasing tension and each breath in is filled with light.
4) Imagine yourself surrounded by light.
5) Now begin to create vibrant, positive and moving images that envelop you. Experience in the great detail what you want.
6) When you feel you have fully experienced what you came to experience allow yourself to be surrounded by light again.
7) Slowly focus back on your breathing, gently open your eyes and begin again to pursue that which you want.

When you can see it in your mind it’s no longer way out there and untouchable. It’s not so intimidating. You’ve been there and done that in your mind. It’s now possible and attainable. You simply have to take the necessary steps toward achieving it. If you’ve creating a compelling enough visualization then it’s just a matter of time.

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber iwishicouldtellyou.com

From Idealist to Idea List Maker…How to live a fuller life!

Stop being an idealist and become an idea list maker!

What’s the difference you ask? Well, a lot!

Idealists…
Aim for perfection.
Rarely achieve the perfection they seek.
Pass up many comparable opportunities.
Wait most of their life for ideal situations.
Never appreciate anything outside their ideal.

Idea List Makers…
Think in concepts.
See endless possibilities.
Embrace new experiences.
Enjoy the process of creating.
Don’t wait around for perfect conditions.
Live fuller and happier lives.

Now, throw out your old ideals and become an idea list maker!

1) Get out your journal or create a new one entitled, “My Idea List Maker,” or better yet, “My Book of Possibilities.”
2) Write down at the top of each page “These are the kinds of things I aspire to be, do, have in my life. ”
3) Write for five to ten minutes in detail.
4) Do this at least once a week.

You can repeat things on your list each week. The goal of the exercise is to help you discover what you truly want while training yourself to keep an open mind.

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber i wish i could tell you iwishicouldtellyou.com