Three of my Favorite Words! “No Assembly Required”

One of my the fondest childhood lessons did not come from a book,teacher or class, but rather from my mother in the toy aisle at Kmart at the age of five.

Being one of five, Mom had little time for nonsense.   So on the rare occasion when we did make it to the store, which was almost always the local Kmart, the superstore of its time, we were expected to stick to her like glue.  Which, we did of course.

Knowing the floor plan of Kmart like the palm of her hand, she had the ability to get in and out of there more often than not without ever passing the toy aisle.  But on the rare occasion that she had a moment to spare, she would surprise us and let us roam the toy aisle for a minute or two.

In those brief moments of exploration, we did what kids do.  We went crazy.  Looking, exploring, playing, dreaming and if we felt Mom was in the mood, presenting her with a toy she could perhaps give “the nod” to take home.

Rarely did we get “the nod.”  But over the years and through trial and error, we did figure out how to increase our odds.  The toy generally had to consist of three things. First and foremost, it had to be reasonable priced (read into this on sale). Second, it had to be creative or promote growth.  And third, it had to contain the words “No Assembly Required.”

We picked up on the first two criteria pretty quickly. “On sale” and “good for you” were part of our family vocabulary.  But the third criteria, “No Assembly Required” took some time to figure out.

I discovered her third rule after giving her a toy for consideration. As I watched her go through the steps: On sale? Check. Good for me? Check, I caught her reading to herself, “No Assembly Required.”  She then turned the box back over, looked at the front again, looked me in the eye, smiled and gave me the Nod.

Excited, I hugged her and thanked her.

Beaming as I held my toy, waiting for my sisters to pick out something for consideration, I asked.  “What does “No Assembly Required” mean?”

Smiling she said, “It means you don’t have to put it together.  You can open it up and play with it right now.  It’s whole. It’s perfect just the way it is.  Just like you.”

“Just like me?” I thought to myself. “Mom just said I was perfect like a really cool toy. Oh my God, I could explode with joy!”

Not knowing how to respond to her affirmation of my worth or even knowing what an affirmation was at the time, I hugged her and thanked her again and then realized I had to tell my sisters what I just discovered.  Running through the toy aisles I whispered to each of them, “It has to say, “No Assembly Required” on it. It has to be whole and perfect just like us!”

And to this day, on the rare occasion that I do go shopping, I often find myself taking a second to walk through the toy aisle and turn over a box or two to read three of my favorite words, “No Assembly Required.”

Go for the Gold – “Love Yourself”

One of the most remarkable characteristics of gold is its ability to be forged into almost anything without breaking. Applying this same principle to The Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would want done unto you,” I created a few new rules from the same vein.

The first two, and my favorite, are The Golden Rules of Self-Honoring (or Self-Love), designed for those souls that always seem to put everyone else before themselves. They are the following.

Love yourself the way you wish to be loved.”

And

“Allow others to love you the way you wished to be loved.”

Don’t be fooled by the simplicity of these rules, they are powerful.

Some additional Self-Honoring Exercises you may enjoy include:

Breathe in Love

1. Find a comfortable place to relax, Imagining your breath is nothing but love.
2. Inhale, imagine being filled with light and love
3. Exhale, imagine that same light and love going out into the world.
4. Repeat for as long as you wish.

Recite your New Golden Rules as Affirmations

“I love My Self the way I wish to be loved.”

And,

“I allow others to love me the way I wished to be loved.”

Take Time for Self-Honoring Inquiries

“What’s the most loving thing I can do for myself right now?”

and/or,

“How could I be a little more loving to myself right now?”

Create a Self-Honoring To-do List

Write down at least two ways you will love (take care of) yourself today.

Copyright 2008 Rob Gruber Present Life Mastery Coach

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Decide and Live Your Dream

“The moment you decide to pursue your dream is the moment you begin to live it.” -gruberism

On a recent trip back to Ohio, while visiting my sister Pat and her family, Eli, the youngest of her three boys ran up to me and asked if I would go fish’n with him. Looking out the window and seeing the sun gently set, I replied, “Not tonight, it’s getting dark. How about we go fishing tomorrow?” Excited by my answer, he ran off to tell his brothers.

As the night progressed, I couldn’t help but notice that Eli seemed a little happier than usual. Curious, I playfully asked, “Hey buddy, what are so happy about?”

He replied with joy, “I’m fish’n.”

“Not tonight. It’s way too late. Tomorrow we’ll go down to the pond and fish.” I replied.

Looking up at me like I just didn’t get it, he lovingly explained, “Fish’n don’t start at the pond, Silly. Fish’n starts when you decide you’re gonna fish. And we decided.”

Humbled by his insight, I smiled and conceded, “You got me there kid.”

In my nephew’s wise little head, he began fish’n the moment it was decided. He continued fish’n, as he went to bed, as he woke up and as walked around the pond to his favorite spot. He was even fish’n as he reeled in a clump of algae. And if you were ask him what he was doing as he walked home from the pond that day, he would tell you he was still fish’n, because he knew that walking back home was just as much a part of fish’n as catching the big one.

An Inquiry

What are your dreams?
Have you decided to experience/pursue/live any of them yet?
If so, are you allowing yourself to enjoy each every step along the way?
If you haven’t yet, can you now begin to see how all those little steps are part of your dream?

Copyright 2008 Rob Gruber

Present Life Mastery Coach

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Run Barefoot on the Grass!

If I were to ask you to finish the statement, “The grass is always greener,” you would mostly likely answer “on the other side of the fence.” Am I right?

Now, how did I know that? Could it be that I, like you, have accepted this seemingly harmless idiom as true, made it a part of my belief system, and am now able to rattle it off whenever called to do so? Well, yeah. That’s exactly how I did it.

Unfortunately, this widely accepted idiom is wrong. The grass, a metaphor for life, is not, nor ever will be, greener on the other side. “The grass is always greener under your feet.”

The reason I say this is because the grass you are standing on is where you are now, and where you are now is where you are able to grow, love and experience life.

That grass on the other side can’t offer that. It is but a reflection of light we have been misled to believe is greater that us and that is simply not true. Making it, in my opinion, a lighter shade of green.

So run barefoot on the grass and know that it’s always greener under your feet.

______________________

A Present Moment Exercise – Questioning Beliefs

1. Monitor your thoughts and language throughout the week.
2. Catch yourself when you begin to express beliefs that require little thought or effort to express.
3. Take a moment to ask yourself the following questions:
Did I create this belief or was it given to me by society?
Is it true or false?
If it’s false, could I create a new, better and more loving belief to replace the old one?

I realize questioning your beliefs may feel a bit uncomfortable at first, but I assure “an unexamined idiom is not worth living.” gruberism

Seize the Present!

The expression Carpe Diem, “seize the day”, has always held wonderful connotations for me. I love the intention. Just saying it aloud makes my heart beat a bit faster. But more often than not, the idea of seizing a whole day leaves me a bit overwhelmed.

So, to remedy this situation, I did what most of us would do when presented with a task that appears too large. I broke it down.

My first inclination was to seize the moment, “Carpe Momentum.” Then I realized I wasn’t being specific enough, because I found myself on many occasions dwelling on a past moment or getting caught up in a future thought.

Then it dawned on me that what I really wanted to seize was the present, or Carpe Praesentium. The moment I set my intention to “Carpe Praesentium,” I immediately woke up, as if from a dream. Everything around me became clear. My feeling of overwhelm was replaced by a sense of peace and wholeness with everything around me. It is here, and only here, I wish to reside.

Carpe Praesentium!

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber  Life Coach

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Become a Modern Day Alchemist

An Alchemist, in ancient times, was a philosopher and metaphysical chemist that sought to transform common metals into gold or create the elusive elixir of life.

While I have yet to transmute any common metals into actual gold or brew the elixir of life, I do consider myself a modern day alchemist and am becoming quite competent in transforming my world.

Here’s a simplified version of The Principles of Modern Day Alchemy.

1. Every thing in the universe contains its opposite, e.g., light and dark or love and hate.

2. The essence of Everything is contained in every Thing, as the poet Blake described seeing “a world in a grain of sand.”

3. You have the ability to choose what you wish to focus on.

4. What you choose to focus on, in your mind, will expand.

5. Once your level of internal focus reaches a critical mass, you will begin to look for and see evidence of it in your outer world.

6. Knowing every thing contains the essence of everything, you will now be able to see that which you are looking for in that which you are looking at.

“The modern day alchemist does not change anything into gold, but rather, sees the gold which is contained in all things.” – gruberism

May you harness these principles to transform your life!

Sincerely,
Rob Gruber

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber Life Coach

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For a Lasting Change, Try The 90/90 Principle

If you want lasting change in your life, consider this.

Dr. Maxwell Maltz, author of Psycho Cybernetics , discovered that it takes approximately 21 days of conscious and consistent effort to create a new habit.
While the creation of a new and healthy habit is a good place to start, it may not be enough to keep the old bad habit at bay. According to Michael Lemonick in his July 5th, 2007 TIME cover story “How We Get Addicted” it takes approximately 90 days “for the brain to reset itself and shake off the immediate influence of a drug” habit.

So, if it takes 21 days for the brain to create a new habit but 90 days to lay an old habit to rest, wouldn’t lasting change be more likely if we were to perform our new habit in lieu of an old habit for at least ninety days?

Accepting this argument, I present to you The 90/90 Principle – 90 days of total immersion of a new habit over 90 days of complete abstinence of the old habit.

To master a new habit, you may consider the following.

1. Write down your new habit and refer to it often.
2. Imagine what it will feel like to have mastered this new habit.
3. Post positive reminders throughout your world.
4. Join a support group if one is available or create one of your own.

Do as much of this on a daily basis as you can for at least the next 90 days.

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber Life Coach

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