Love Without Reason

IMG_1535One of my earliest memories of unconditional love occurred in the spring of 1975. I was six. My four sisters and I were huddled around the television in the family room watching Saturday morning cartoons when my father poked his head in and said with a big smile on his face, “Turn the TV off and come into the living room. Your mom’s got a surprise for you.”

Hearing the word surprise, we all jumped up and ran into the living room. But as we turned the corner, we were stopped in our tracks by the sight of our mother sitting in a chair at the other end of the room with a stack of beautifully wrapped presents at her feet.

Frozen and fixed on our mother’s every move, we waited in anticipation for what would come next. Without any delay or explanation, she proceeded to call out all our names, oldest to youngest, and presented us each with a gift.

When my name was called, I ran to my mother’s side, thanked her for the gift and plopped down on the floor right in front of her. To my delight, I found something I had always wanted, a collection of plastic dinosaurs, caves and cavemen.

Consumed by my gift, I was a bit oblivious to what my sisters received. But what I wasn’t oblivious to was the fact that it wasn’t a holiday, someone’s birthday or special occasion. It was just an ordinary day. Curious to the reason for our gifts, I went to my mother and asked, “Mom, I really like my present. I really do, more than anything, but I was wondering. Why did I get a present today? It’s not like it’s my birthday or anything like that?”

She smiled a smile only a loving mother could smile and playfully replied, “Just because.”

My curiosity not satisfied, I asked, “Because of what?”

“No reason. No reason at all. Just because.” She said with that same smile.

“You mean you gave us all presents just because, for no reason at all?” I asked.

“That’s right.” She replied with joy. “Now go and play with your dinosaurs.”

And play I did well into the night.

As I laid in bed that night with a dinosaur in each hand, thinking about this extraordinary day, I couldn’t help but come to the realization that it was possible for me, a six-year old boy, to love and be loved “just because,” for “no reason at all.”

Now as a man, deeply and positively affected by my early childhood revelation, I have come to the conclusion through much trial and error that it is not only possible to love without reason, but it is, in fact, the only way to love.

Rob Gruber

Life Mastery Coach

Copyright 2009

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Your life may be fuller than you’ll ever know!

Every summer as a child, my father would take the whole family to my Aunt’s house in the country for an all-day bar-b-que.  I remember those days like they were yesterday, not because of the wonderful times we had there, which we did, but rather because of the stomachaches I always got from eating way too much.

Despite my mother’s ever-watchful eye and her constant reminder not to over do it, I always found a way to sneak back to the buffet table for a yet another little taste of bar-b-que heaven.  As the day progressed and my sneaking continued, I did what I had done so many times before, I ate my way to a stomachache. An ache so painful, I could only ease it by lying face down, motionless on a picnic bench for the rest of the night.

It took me three years of family reunions to learn my lesson, but I learned it well and remained ever mindful of the need for moderation.

While I always wondered how I could be perfectly fine one minute and then all of the sudden painfully full the next.  I found out much later in life that it takes about twenty minutes for the stomach to signal the brain that it is full. More plainly put, it takes twenty minute for me to realize I was full, in which time I continued to stuff my face, resulting in one memorable stomachache.

Realizing the mind is a step behind the stomach I began to wonder.   If it takes twenty minutes to realize I my stomach is full how long does it take to realize that my life is full. Could it be that my life is full now and I have yet to realize it?

Not knowing how to measure this since my mind is a step behind.  I decided to look back at my life, not through memories, but through old photos I had of myself.  It was here I found the proof I was looking for.

In each and every picture, from the perspective of this present moment, I can honestly say my life was fuller than I was consciously aware of at the time.  I was, in a word, full and never fully knew it.

I realize this is a completely subjective test. But it has made me a firm believer that my life is and always will be much fuller than I am able to realize.

Copyright Rob Gruber 2009

Present Life Mastery Coach

Live by a More Golden Rule

While having tea with a friend on her garden patio, her playful and loving orange and black tabby cat, Tig, jumped up onto the table, gently placed a lifeless little field mouse in front of me and jumped back off.

Shocked, I gasped.

My friend’s reaction was quite the opposite. She simply smiled and commented, “Awe, look. He likes you.”

“Really? He sure has a funny way of showing it.” I replied motionless.

“It’s just his way of showing you how much he loves you.” She said.

With Tig long gone, that little field mouse suddenly opened his eyes, got back on his feet and ran straight off the table, landing not so gently on the ground and scurrying into the dense foliage of the garden, never to be seen again – at least not by me.

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In a way, Tig was following the golden rule, “Do unto other as you would have done unto you.” And while I was grateful for his expression of love, I was, unfortunately, not able to fully appreciate his gift at the time.

All too often we are much like Tig, giving to others what we would want for ourselves. I call this the 14 Karat Rule, acting from our own limited preferences. While thoughtful and often appreciated, it occasionally falls short of its intended result.

A more golden rule, which I call the 18 Karat Rule, is this. “Do unto others as you would imagine they would want done unto them. In Tig’s case, with a little imagining, he may have chosen to simply climb up onto my lap, allow me to pet him and purr like there was no tomorrow.

While cats like Tig don’t have the capacity to imagine what others would want done unto them, we humans do. Possessing this capacity, we have an opportunity in each and every moment to live this rule in a more loving way.

If we were to all live by this 18 Karat Rule long enough, imagining and doing unto others what we imagine others would want done unto them, I believe we would all eventually come to the conclusion that we all want the same thing – love.

Realizing love is the answer to all our wants, an Even More Golden Rule, the 24 Karat Rule, might go like this. “Love others as you imagine they would want to be Loved.” Or simply, “Love others.”

Looking back at Tig’s gift, now, I can’t help but love him for loving me the only way he knew how.

Copyright 2008 Rob Gruber

Present Life Mastery Coach

Interested in being coached toward a Life of Self-Mastery?
Email me at rob@iwishicouldtellyou.com!

Emerge-and-See Your Unlimited Potential!

Awaken through crisis.

The call at 2 in the morning from a friend in need, the news of the death of a close relative, your child’s first fever, your stocks plummeting, the car accident you narrowly escape from, 9-11.

If “Emergencies” was a word on the old game show $25,000 Pyramid. The player describing the word “emergencies” might say, “things that would never wish to happen and require your immediate attention.”

Immediate Attention. That’s the key isn’t it? As if attention wasn’t enough, emergencies require immediacy in regards to time, urgency, and space, closeness.

This combination of attention and immediacy raises us to a greater awareness. We have more energy. Our senses become acute. We act rather than react. We are decisive and find little time for emotion. We are more present and than we’ve ever been.

What can we learn from these unwanted events?

Through emergencies we are given a glimpse of our fullest potential. – gruberism

Our Potential, or latent nature, is waiting for us to call it to attention at a moment’s notice. We are capable of the greatest imaginable things. It is only a matter of awareness of this potential that keeps us from being, becoming and creating those things we so desire.

Emerge-and-See!

Emerge-and-see, you have everything you need within you.

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber iwishicouldtellyou.com i wish i could tell you

Celebrate Your Life in Every Moment!

“It was my birthday last week and I haven’t stopped celebrating.” – gruberism

I remember the first time someone asked me the question “How many birthdays does the average man have?” Not knowing it was a riddle, I thought long and hard and guessed 76. I was wrong, of course, because the average man has only one birthday. He may celebrate his birthday 76 times in his life but he is only born once.

Then I thought to myself, a man that lives 76 years celebrates the miracle of his life only 76 times in his 76 years or 27,758 days. I don’t know about you, but that doesn’t seem like enough celebrating to me. To make things worse, we don’t remember the first few and are taught by society to not look forward to celebrating our birthday in the later half of our lives.

If you ask me, 1 out 365.25 is not near enough!

Wake up and taste the icing! It is estimated that someone dies every ten seconds in this world. Are you next? Am I? Now I’m not a fortuneteller, so I can’t tell you when my time is up. I can’t tell you if I have ten seconds or tens of years left. What I can tell you is that my time is precious and each moment I am given is a gift worth celebrating and I choose to celebrate the miracle of my life by staying as present as possible in each and every moment I am given.

Celebrate your life in each and every moment! And while you’re at it, celebrate everyone else’s life you come in contact with, because you’ll never know when their last moment will be.

I celebrate life by striving to stay as present as possible, love unconditionally, listen intently and give sincere thanks for everything.

How can you celebrate your life in this moment?

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber iwishicouldtellyou.com i wish i could tell you