The Secret and Powerful Gift within the Insult or Critique

Recently, an artistic colleague of mine did something quite remarkable and courageous. He had an idea, developed a plan, executed it faithfully and invited the critics. I call this remarkable because rarely do our ideas get past the idea stage, and courageous, because he invited the critics.

I salute him for that. Unfortunately the critics did not.

No, the critics were not kind. The pen was mightier than the sword that day. A sword would have been swifter and less messy.

While it is a shame the critics were so ruthless, there is a powerful lesson to be learned here. That lesson is that there is a gift within each and every insult or critique. That gift is the gift of attention upon you.

When someone critiques you or insults you, from your performance to your hair style, they have just made, in that moment, their entire world about you. You have become their focus. You have become the center of their universe.

To better understand this, I have created “The Time-line of an Insult or Critique.”

1. Somehow you got their attention. (Often unknowingly and unsolicited)
2. You then held their attention.
3. They then decide to formulate a response in their mind about you.
4. They think and rethink about you, refining their response.
5. They often share their thoughts about you with others, further refining their response.
6. They see you and determine whether to actually respond or not.
7. They respond to you.
8. They wait for your reaction.

Knowing what you know now, could you possibly react differently the next time you are insulted by someone that has just made you the center of their universe?

When I’m insulted or criticized in a nonconstructive way, I often smile and reply. “Thank you for noticing.” And do you know what? Most of the time I mean it.

If you liked this blog you may also like Peace of Mind is Closer than You Think and Visually Sculpt the Life You Want.

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber Life Coach I wish I could tell you


Become a Permanent Tourist!

“If you’re not having the time of your life, whose time are you having?”

A buddy of mine, who felt he needed a vacation, went on a trip for four days. When he got back, he told me he had the time of his life and felt like a whole new person. A week later, he was back to his “poor me” self.

So I ask you this question. What changed?

My friend had. On his vacation he decided to have a good time and experience life to the fullest.

Oxford American Dictionaries defines a tourist as “a person who is traveling or visiting a place for pleasure.” That’s what my friend was – a person, traveling and seeking pleasure.

Now, let me ask you a second question. Aren’t we all people, traveling from here to there every day, desiring pleasure in our lives? YES! Then wouldn’t that make us all tourists all of the time? YES! And being tourists all of the time, shouldn’t we be seeking (allowing) pleasure all of the time? YES!

So, today, I have the great honor of declaring this and every day, Permanent Tourist’s Day, to be celebrated by you and everyone you know.

Permanent Tourist’s Day is celebrated by the following:

1) Intend on having a good time.
2) Desire to experience new things.
3) Be optimistically ready for anything.
4) Live in the positively present moment.

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber   i wish i could tell you

Stop Identity Theft Now!

Stop Identity Theft Now!

As I’m sure you know, identity theft in this day and age is a growing problem. But did you ever consider that the greatest threat to your identity might be you?

That’s right. When you choose to live your life in a past thought, you’re not here, now. You’re not experiencing the present moment, and the present moment is all there is and all you are.

Every time you choose a past thought you rob yourself of (your identity) the person you were meant to be in this present moment.

So how do I stop my own identity theft? Here’s an exercise, I call it the brb process. brb stands for be right back.

The brb process is as easy as 123.

1) Become conscious of your thoughts.
2) Recognize when you are having a past thought.
3) Begin again to focus on the present moment. Use all your senses fully and without judgment, or just do something right now.

Listen to a friend. See the beauty in the sky. Taste the sweetness in a muffin. Smell the coffee grounds. Hear the children laughing. Breathe deep into your lungs. Stand tall. Wiggle your toes. Kiss someone. Dance. Sing. Anything that makes you feel alive and present.

Copyright 2007 Rob Gruber   i wish i could tell you

It’s high time at 2PM not 420

What is 2PM? 2PM stands for Past Positive Moments. A Past Positive Moment is a past moment that you recall that is positive and reinforces all that is wonderful about you and your life.

So, as we recognize and accept the fact, that we will occasionally be reliving past moments in present time, we should strive to make those past moments, positive ones. And how do we do that, by releasing, with pure intention, as soon as they occur, any and all moments we recall that our not positive, through exercises like an iwishicouldtellyou posting.

As we release those moments in our past, that are not conducive to our positive growth, we allow more room for the presence of positive memories.

Copyright 2006 Rob Gruber